In the text “Girl” by Jamaica Kincaid, the mother imparts her wisdom on her presumed daughter to protect her from harm and teach her the ‘proper’ ways to be a woman. Her mother teaches her that the ideals of womanhood and femininity are externally focused and primarily concerned with the perception of others. She encourages the girl to live a life completely based on protecting the righteous ideals of womanhood: purity, innocence, and submission, and on taking care of the needs of a family and home. The advice she gives is how to be a good woman: how to clean properly, how to cook and prepare food, the different types of smiles to give depending on the audience, not to talk to “wharf-rat boys, not even to give directions,” (Kincaid). Though these skills are undeniably important, the sole emphasis on defining what it means to be a woman through her actions completely erase the importance of responding to her own needs and taking into account her own feelings, qualities that are just as, if not more, deserving of attention than simply what she can do for others.

The mother’s advice reinforces the culture of preservation and purity evident in most populations where the woman is a second-class citizen to the man. The idea that a woman must behave a certain way in order not to be perceived negatively is common in the Caribbean islands. In the time period of the mother’s youth, women’s role in society was to be the nurturant to the husband and children. This is evident in the text. It does do a young girl good to know how to properly take care of herself and to protect her innocence, but that is only a part of what it means to be a woman. Yet that is the only part that the mother gives to the girl, and she offers it in a way that is condescending and overbearing, telling the girl what to do even when she says she already does or doesn’t act in that way. She gives no space for the girl to express herself or be herself.

While her advice comes from a place of love and protection, it’s clear to see how the mother’s own experiences and presumptions of the world color the words she imparts to the girl. Her mother was probably the same way– judgmental, scornful, and also afraid. Afraid that if her girl child did not embody the perfect image of a dutiful wife and God-fearing woman, life will punish her and it will be her fault. Something bad may have happened to the mother in her youth, unwanted male attention or touch, so she may feel the only way to protect her daughter is to teach her how not to be perceived as a slut, or deserving of that attention. The advice she extends the young girl is incredibly harmful and as the mother tells her daughter she is responsible for the thoughts and actions of men and others in general. Instead of empowering the girl to embrace herself and identity, she teaches her how to play a role in her own life, in utter disregard for her own needs. This is very restrictive to the girl’s future, as she will continue basing her self-worth on the satisfaction of those around her, and may never know who she truly is or what she truly wants out of life. Her life may be in danger of becoming a shadow of someone else’s; her mother’s, drenched in shame and fear of not being the perfect image of femininity projected onto her.

Works Cited:

Kincaid, Jamaica. “‘girl,’ by Jamaica Kincaid.” The New Yorker, The New Yorker, 19 June 1978, www.newyorker.com/magazine/1978/06/26/girl.