I like how the author starts off by explaining to the reader that “To write about my mother is to explain the nature of our relationship; to reconcile the relationship in real-time on the page.” to start by telling the reader that a relationship with one person cannot be explained in a few short sentences. The reader needs to know background and the emotion behind the written word. I like how instead of going into every detail of what’s wrong with her relationship with her mom she insead she gives the reason why she believes her relationship with her mom is difficult the author explains that “mother struggles to be emotionally available.” it’s like she wants to build a bridge in the middle of an ocean, where they are coming from in their thoughts are so distant from one another that no proper foundation can be built on; leaving both mother and daughter confused on how to move forward best. But with the understanding that they come from two different realities in their thought on how someone should live. This is expressed when Arthur explains that her mother openly tells her she just wants her to marry a nice jewish man. But she understands this comes from a place of love and wants for her daughter to have a good life. The other also acknowlages that she’s thankful for these qualities because she was able to inherit them and make use of it in her day to day life.

Music has definitely helped me explore the relationship I had with my step dad and my biological dad. When I reflect on how far I have come I acknowledge that without my step dad dwight coming into my life, I would have stayed on a downward spiral going nowhere in life. He turned my whole life around and he was always real with me when we talked. He never made me feel like I was some kid, he treated me as his son that he never had. One day before my house was finally foreclosed on by the bank, we were talking in his car and he asked me what I wanted to do in life and I truly didn’t know. He told me “I don’t care what you want to do, if you want to be a garbage man be a garbage man but make sure your the best garbage man and me and your mom will be proud.” Once I got my own apartment and started living by myself I grew annoyed at him for little shit that really doesn’t matter and that’s none of my business. So I stopped talking to him for a while but something deep inside me was telling me to reach out. On december 18th 2020 he passed away unexpectedly. When he passed my mom called me at work, I told my boss I was going home. I went to my brother’s room and I broke down all the guilt and pain hit all at once. The most painful thing was that there will be no more memories to be made with him good or bad.

During this time I wasn’t talking to my biological dad as well and I discovered this song called Yesterday by Atmosphere. And it really helped me walk through all my thoughts on both father figures in my life and how their actions were out of love. Ever since i’ve tried to take a new perspective on life, to forgive and understand but to make my feelings heard before it’s too late. “I guess I could have shouted out your name, But even if it was you I don’t know what I would say, We can sit and reminisce about the old school,Maybe share a cigarette because we both fools, Chop it up and compare perspectives,Life Love stress and Setbacks” this line specifically helped my cope with his loss and is exactly what I try to draw on when things aren’t going the best with the people I hold dear because I know deep down the relationships i’ve built mean something that can just be thrown away, because one day ill yearn for all the good and bad times.