Monthly Archives: October 2014

When I revise my work, I imagine myself sketching a picture. The ideas and the general sketch is not bad, but adding more streaks and erasing some line can help perfect the sketch, and might possibly change the look of the entire picture. Whenever I write for a class, I almost always get feedback from either peers or the teacher, or both. I really like the fact that other people can see a point that I didn’t see, and that expanding that factor can further perfect my work.  I know that I am not required to take the critics’ advice, but I almost always does because the feedback that I get always gives me that light bulb in the head, and I would always say to myself “Why didn’t I think about that?” I think the difference between revising and editing and proofreading is that revising is more about arranging the idea of how the paper goes, editing is the matter of making sure the information cited is correct, and proofreading is to change the grammatical errors.

In terms of my views about the Dethier article, I agree about his reasons why people don’t like revisions. Especially on number 6, when it says “Revision is a sign of failure, and criticism a personal affront.” Even though I never though of revision of this way, I do see people struggling on letting people see their work. There are times when I write thing that I don’t want people to know or look at, like my journal, but in academic writing, I had always feel that feedback is an opportunity for others to tell you their points of view on a situation you are writing about, or on their interpretations of your work.

I haven’t spent much time on the assignment, but right now because I have the zero draft, I can be able to use it to support my point of rhetoric between the two articles. I will then make an outline to explain how I’m going to write the assignment in terms of the compare and contrast that I will be making. Because this assignment is not necessary to input any opinions inside, along with writing the outline, I will use the zero draft to support my analysis with details from the article that proves this analysis valid.

Rhetorical Analysis Zero Draft

For my rhetoric analysis, I will be talking about the current situation in Hong Kong, which is the “Umbrella Revolution.” The reason behind the locals’ protests is because they demand for “democratic elections”, according to The New York Times. This attracts attention to me not only because I have friends and family living there, but also because I find it to be extremely shocking that people of Hong Kong do not have the privilege to vote for their candidate. That is because I was born having that right to do so. Because I know my friends so well, I believe that during times like these, they are willing to do whatever it gets to achieve what they want, and will support each other as seen in the protest. They sit on the streets, carrying umbrellas, hold boards to protest that they want to vote. This includes going against the police force and risking being attacked by the police by pepper spray. This brings into consideration that in my opinion, protesters want to show the world how unified they are in terms of getting what they want. Therefore, I feel that this event should be analyzed, due to how much of a controversy it is. Especially when the CNN revealed a tweet of a posted picture of two television in China. One was CNN broadcasting the Hong Kong protest, and the other television was “CCTV news channel.” The satire of this post is that while the CCTV news channel is broadcasting like normal, the CNN channel shows a black screen, indicating that China doesn’t want their people to know about this event, risking them to be by Hong Kong’s side. Because this is so controversial, news channels and newspapers may take different sides on this situation. One might say that the protestors are rebelling against the government, and some might say that it’s the people’s rights to vote for their leaders of their homeland. I would like to see how different sources can word their articles in a way that exposes different angles of the situation.