My life:
I didn’t know what I was going to do with my life. Just like this monologue, I had contemplated about what I should write about. I feel like I am just a speck of dust in space, just floating around aimlessly and following the flow of life. During my middle school years, I went to school, went home, did my homework and then drown myself in anime, k-pop, Korean dramas and YouTube. It was a way for me to escape reality. Now that I think about that lifestyle, I regret that I wasted hours on the computer, distanced myself from my family and ruined my eyes. But, without this time in my life, I wouldn’t get to understand myself and why I behaved that way. Without the dark, I wouldn’t be able to see the light. I realized that I was scared of the future. I felt that the future was too unknown and too overwhelming. In addition, I didn’t want change to happen. I was comfortable with the way I was; the couch potato who didn’t do much besides eating, sleeping and escaping life challenges. However, life kept changing and I will eventually have to face it. With the years that I spent escaping reality, I had fallen behind from the rest of my classmates. I expected a lot from myself, but I disappointed myself. My worst enemy is myself. I developed a fixed mindset that I was useless, that I was not a good child and that I couldn’t achieve much in my life. It was not until I went to high school that I really changed how I thought. My high school introduced me to the growth mindset. I learned that I can strive to become a better person and achieve whatever I want if I believe that it is possible and if I work towards it. My friends inspired me and set themselves as an example. They worked extremely hard to achieve what they want in life. They are not born genius but they have the perseverance to keep going despite failures.
Now that I am in Baruch College, I have a goal that I want to achieve. Should I tell you guys? Nah. I learned that it is better for me to keep my goals to myself because the last time I told someone my goal, I didn’t achieve it. In addition, I don’t like it when someone knows what I am doing. I get really uncomfortable when someone is looking over my shoulder. I like to be mysterious. All in all, I am striving to become a better version of myself and to get my life together.