Monologue

So my neighbor got a dog.
(Pause).
And not like a cute, adorable Husky or something– Nope, they went and picked up a Chihuahua. For the love of God, why would anyone want a Chihuahua? A Chihuahua who barks his head off every time one of his owner’s leaves the apartment. Every. Time.
So needless to say, I can’t even think straight if my neighbor isn’t home. So now, I spend as much time outside of my apartment as possible. You see, sensible people would get a cat, who doesn’t make so much as a peep. You’d think living in a NYC apartment, you’d have the common sense to get at the very least, a subdued dog. Even a dog that barks when the doorbell is rung would be fine.
And yes, I think Chihuahuas are extremely cute, but they’re annoying as all hell. All this nonstop barking from next door makes me want to rip my own hair out. If I was younger, I probably wouldn’t have minded, but I’m in college now. I have a lot of assignments to complete, and I can’t even complete them in the serenity of my home. All of that raucous barking drives me insane.
So on a scale of 1 to illegal, how bad would it be if I let him loose and he ‘ran’ away?
Pretty bad, huh?
(Pause).
Guess I’ll have to settle for ear plugs. *Eye roll*
I just wish I didn’t have to put up with this incessant barking. But the bright side is that I found this really cool cafe in Brooklyn called Coffe Rx. *Shrug* Beats my apartment any day– with or without the dog.
It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow, but I will get that dog!!! *Evil laugh*
Or uh.. Maybe I’ll just put on some headphones the next time he starts barking.