It’s always hard to know whether you are doing things right or wrong, and when I mean things, I mean life situations, moments or certain episodes in your lifetime that has affected you. Have I ever did something that I didn’t regret the next day, month, or even year. Of course I did, nobody is perfect and will never be. Humans are created to make mistakes, evolve, improve and keep striving towards perfection. It is an undeniable cycle of progression, the vital part of humankind survival, Theory of Darwin.
Ever since I was a child, I was motivated to outdo my father, as I compared my achievements and basically whole life to his age by age, goal after goal, success after success mark. For example, how many books has my father read by the age of 18 comparing to the number of books I’ve read by the age of 18. It was a really an exciting journey for me as I imitated my father in everything and tried to beat him in everything, even practiced he’s stares that he gives during business meetings and tried to improve it. For me it was more than just a goal or a dream factor, for me it was a pushing force- the key to ignition towards making me the person I am today. All my life I’ve lived by a code and the code is simple: respect the elder, love your family, and be proud of who you are and where you come from. To me these are the core values as I truly respect my roots and bloodline.
Family is my main priority and ever since I was a child my mother taught me to be close to my brothers and close to my relatives because after there’s nothing left, no money, fame, reputation ,success, there’s always going to be family behind your back. Sadly, when I was at the age of 5 my mother and father divorced and that created a huge turmoil in our big family, as my father’s brothers told him that he’s wrong and that he should have not divorced my mother just because of the kids, but sadly now I understand that you can’t dictate your heart whom to love, and with that I totally understand my father and don’t blame him for the whole family incident, which by the way resulted in a complete hatred between the brothers and total non-recognition of each other. Imagine, having your cousins playing with you every single day after kindergarten or us going together to the park, or having family dinner, and family events, everything gone in a glimpse of an eye. As you see their ghosts playing with you on the playground and you are trying to reach them with your hand and they suddenly evaporate. For more than ten years, I haven’t seen my cousins, even though we were in the same country, same city, same area, same bloodline. After being programmed by my father’s new wife to hate on my relatives and completely deny their existence. Ten years later, I accidentally met up with my Auntie, as she said “Damir you grew up so much, I love you and I miss you. Sorry for disappearing for a long time.” I was programmed to think that everything she says or does is a direct endangerment to me and my existence. The fact that I thought that all my Auntie wanted was my father’s money and blood at the age of 14 makes me realize that live can change in a matter of night, just simply flip 180 and never again rotate. This feeling of abandoning my core values and family ideals made my a very curious child, teenager, and person in general, as I seek multiple ways on how unite the family and bring the good ol’ days back in the present. But who’s going to listen to the youngest son in the family. Who’s going to take my advice or my desire to help seriously? For everyone in my family back when I was 14, nobody really took me seriously as everyone had their problems to deal with. The feeling of somewhat unimportance and irrelevance sparked the fire of motivation in me as I decided to study abroad and improve as a person in general: become smarter, become better, become successful by any means, and of course become more sophisticated and improve my business skills so that one day my family would take me seriously enough to hear me out and hopefully follow my lead. Therefore I take this whole family incident as a part of evolution and improvement of our family ties. The next generation learns on the mistakes and tries to solve them thus keep striving towards an improvement. Maybe it was necessary for my father and his brothers collapse the family bond and create conflict, in order to make me the person I am today who has a much broader outlook on the world than his Father, who managed to do some of the things that he’s father had never managed to achieve, maybe it was destiny, or just a human mistake, but it doesn’t matter because what truly matters is that I evolve, improve, and strive towards the better. As my ultimate goal in life, is to reunite my family, forge even a stronger bond, create a peace between our future generations, and eventually prolong and enhance our family legacy.