Due to the machinations of Venus and Juno, Dido was forced to fall in love with Aeneas when Venus sent Cupid to get them to fall in love. Aeneas chose duty over staying with Dido which in the end led to her untimely demise. The fact that she took her life rather than face a life without her lover showed how much she had succumbed to the will of the interfering Gods. It felt like she was the pawn that was used by greater forces other than herself to fulfill another’s destiny. Her life would’ve ended differently if she was left to exercise her free will but was instead tragically cut short. Dido was used by all involved especially by Aeneas who did not truly love her.
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I think I do not agree with you regarding Aeneas feelings to Dido. Aeneas was truly in love with Dido and he suffered too. Aeneas was so afraid to hurt his beloved one’s feelings that he was looking for right words trying all alternatives to explain Dido about his departure. After she found out Aeneas was going to leave, he struggled with desire to go to her and comfort her in all her pain. He didn’t want to leave Dido, his sweet life with her and sailed to Italy against his free will. When he met Dido’s soul underground he swore that he didn’t want to leave her. He “took his heart out”, forced himself to leave Dido and followed his fate. I think he is real hero in terms of being self-possessed to his feelings and also being dedicated to his duties.