Great Works II

When reading “The Love Song of J.Alfred Prufrock,” I was very engaged and felt as if I, as the reader, happened to somehow jump into the story and stand there along with J. Alfred, accompanying him on an adventure. When he says, “To lead you to an overwhelming question.. oh, do not ask, “What is it?” I was very curious to find out what it is that is on his mind. He had so many thoughts and ideas at once such as exploring the restaurants, the one-night cheap hotels and the half- deserted streets. Yet, it was evident that there was something of great value and concern to him that he refuses to explain until later. According to my understanding, I believe that he has feelings for a woman and desires to express them to her but is afraid of what the outcome may be. Throughout the “love song,” Alfred mentions the talking of Michelangelo and yellow fog, which didn’t seem to have much meaning. He also described different people and many faces he encountered, none of which really mattered since they weren’t the person whom he desires. On page 542 he states, “And indeed there will be time to wonder, “Do I dare?” He keeps postponing when he would confess his love to her as he assumes there is plenty of time for him to have the chance to in the future. I feel that he is just using that as an excuse and it is in fact a defense mechanism to keep him away from confronting his fears. Essentially, he is very worried and nervous that his love for the woman will not be returned and that he will possibly be rejected. Taking all of that into account, he doesn’t know if  it is worth getting his feelings off his chest only to experience the pain that MAY result afterwards. That is what ultimately causes him to turn to self- preservation. It seems that his choice would rather be to live being unaware whether or not his feelings would be returned and not experience a confrontation. In his eyes, that is a better option as he constantly seems to question if it is worth having to risk his love being unrequited. I perceived him as a bit insecure and lacking confidence. His self esteem isn’t very high and that is shown when he becomes very self conscious about his appearance, his bald spot and his skinny arms and legs in particular. What is unfortunate is that one side of him has a strong urge to express his feelings and get them off his chest however, his sub-conscious is stopping him from presuming, due to the consequences that can occur. This is of great importance to him and in order to finally have the confrontation, he would need to battle his fears, insecurities, and stop being so afraid. He admits to living a safe life in which every morning, afternoon and evening are daily routines where nothing interesting happens. Being aware of this, he is completely lost and doesn’t know where to start. How can he suddenly gain the strength needed to face such a moment in his life? As describes what is going through his mind he states, “Do I dare disturb the universe? In a minute there is time for decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.” In my opinion, J Alfred was very anxious and confused. All the thoughts spinning through his head and the multiple possibilities of certain actions put him in a moment of crisis. He was obsessing over everything that he was deliberating on doing and constantly overthinking. Many of his worries and fears would all potentially disappear if he would come face to face with his fears. However, just like for any human, that is much easier said than done. After I finished reading and reflected upon what I have read,  I noticed that many of my patterns of thinking mirror his and I was able to relate very much to him. I also constantly overthink and imagine possible scenarios to certain situations before ever acting upon them. I realized that by doing this, I happen to create problems that weren’t even present to begin with. This is also my way of self-preservation in order to not get hurt. In the end, similar to J. Alfred, I would also choose the easy way out and avoid any possible confrontations that are of great value and importance to me which can also potentially change my life for the better or worse. By being so imaginative and intuitive, it can certainly help one not get hurt and be mindful of all the various paths that can be taken upon, as well as the different possible outcomes. But the biggest question is: Would it be better to live a safe life, yet more boring, where one never takes chances? Or… live a little bit on the edge, be more care-free, in order to live a more fulfilling and thrilling life?