The relentless crowd struggle to fit into a train car that’s already packed like sardines. It seems although New Yorkers usually do not like to make contact with other riders while on the train, it is times like these where they’re willing to make an exception. “Sexual Harassment is a Crime in the subway, too – A crowded train is no excuse for an improper touch. Don’t stand for it or feel ashamed, or be afraid to speak up. Report it to an MTA employee or police officer” plays over the intercom while I struggle to find room to breathe.

Train stops, doors open.
Hurried crowds quickly get off.
There is peace again.

As I make my away out of the seemingly worst part of my day, I feel the weight lifted off my shoulders. The cold air nips at the tip of my nose, and my breathe seems to cling to the air. For a couple of seconds, I feel as if I’m free of all this confusion. However, a new weight immediately replaces the one prior and I start to feel the impending doom in my stomach once again. I am not nervous, but rather cynical. I cannot allow myself to get enveloped by all this disarray, but I am partially hoping that if I leave it alone, it will all go away. I know it will take too long–I must make sense of it for myself.

Imminent deadlines,
What is the point of all this?
Don’t forget to breathe.

In the midst of all of this daily chaos, I sometimes forget how to breathe. However, I find that setting aside just five to ten minutes to sit down and feel the warmth of the sunlight from a seat by the window helps me unwind the chaos and feel less anxious. This pause allows me to ponder about things other than schoolwork. My breathing slows and my leg falls asleep, but I do not care.

The warm sunlight streams
Into the cold empty room.
Shadows luminous.