narrative writing

Narrative Excerpt

I sat down on the long table with some of my classmates and opened my book bag to take out my lunch like everyone else on the table. In my backpack was a brown paper bag with a plastic see through container inside of it and a Poland spring bottle. My plastic container had a divider so it was split into two sides. There was pork fried rice on one side, with kimchi (fermented cabbage) and marinated baby anchovies (a soy sauce and red pepper paste marinade) on the other. I took out the Poland spring bottle in my bag to find that it had been filled with bori cha (barley tea). I looked around at the lunches my friends and classmates had brought. I remember thinking it was weird that there wasn’t a single other person who brought Asian cuisine, or rice at the very least. The table was filled with sandwiches, fruits, and cereal.

Strange, but I loved the food that I brought. My lunch was all things I would eat often at home and my mom was a great cook. As I began to eat, David, was pointing at me as I began to eat. I looked up to find him pinching his nose and giving me a disgusted look. He began to make fun of me by stating that I ate stinky fish that smelled worse than the camel poop nearby. Being the kids that my classmates were at the time, everyone joined in on the fun of saying ‘ew’ and pinching their noses. David was Taiwanese and my classmates were a mix of different ethnic

backgrounds, but my friends nearby that day were Korean. I quietly lifted the divider so that I could eat just the fried rice and closed the lid of my lunch container to minimize the smell from the anchovies or kimchi from escaping. It may have been a joke for my classmates, but it ended up shaping what I perceived as an appropriate school lunch in elementary school. It couldn’t have been my classmates’ first times seeing or smelling this kind of food, but it was appropriate at the time to want to be white. Or at the very least, that’s what I learned I had to try and become.

5 thoughts on “Narrative Excerpt”

  1. At first, I was like, “where the hell is this going?” But then I realized that your piece is definitely substantive. I enjoyed your very descriptive voice. And I assume the topic will be how “white-washed” many people are because of a systematically racist country that makes us think that being white is better, resulting in many people “acting white” and losing their own identities in order to assimilate, to fit in. I liked it a lot and look forward to reading the whole thing

  2. As soon as I read this, my heart broke for that poor child who was picked on for honoring his culture through food. Although you definitely have enough substance in your first paragraph, I’m curious to learn more about traditional cuisine, as well as how this tragic experience shaped your future lunches. I’m also interested as to why you were the only one eating ethnic food if the students in your school represented a variety of backgrounds – I was surprised by that, and also surprised that kids from other ethnic minorities would make fun of your culture’s food! I really did feel it, though, when you wrote about being suddenly ashamed of the food you normally love, and I think that this except goes a long way despite its shortness. Aside from the usual suggestions for minor edits, this piece is wonderful and heartbreaking, and I’m genuinely excited to read more.

  3. I like how different your piece is and what you’re talking about actually makes me think like hmm why does everyone bring typical food to school. I would think because it was quicker to make but there could always be something else like in your case being teased on simply because of the food you ate. Although we would all relate to the teasing being a kid I would like to know how old you are, what grade you’re in. I’m assuming your intention to focus on the teasing and the food you ate has a lot to do with what you will be talking about further into your story. I like it, I would just sugesst expanding on describing other things around you like maybe what did this kid David look like?

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