Those smoldering tube-like tunnels rarely disappoint riders. Everyone can look forward to heat, humidity, buckets of perspiration and funk in a New York City subway station in the summertime. I dread going down in here. The heat and humidity slaps me in the face before I reach the bottom of the staircase, but I want to get home.
I’ve already made up my mind not to look in the direction of the person whom I can smell from a distance. The shopping cart next her is overloaded with overstuffed big black garbage bags. I’m wondering how she hasn’t passed out from all those layers of clothes she has on in all this heat. The truth be told, for me sometimes it makes things a little easier to look away. This way, my selfish ass won’t have to bear any burden of guilt when I don’t do anything to help her out.
When I reach her, for some reason, I do exactly what I made my mind up not to do. I look directly at her. At first glance it’s a familiar face. I’m paralyzed. I can’t go any further. My feet are no longer moving. It’s Charlie. That’s what we called her. Her real name is Charlene. This is the person I wished was my best friend when I arrived in the Bronx. She was the prettiest, the best dressed, real fly and nice to me. There was a star up there with her name on it and she was gonna sit on it with her legs crossed. That’s how good she was at everything she did. She was smart and after graduation she was headed to law school. Her popularity let anyone that knew her know that she was loved. Everybody wanted to hang out with her. She was invited to all the parties. And she loved to party. Other people’s boyfriends always asked her out. I’m standing right in front of my old friend. She’s staring straight at me. She doesn’t even see me.
I’ve always wondered if the rumors were true. I never had any real proof. As a joke on her 21st birthday, some guy and a few of her so-called friends slipped something in her drink. She was rushed to the hospital and was never the same since. I don’t even know if she knows there is a figure in front of her. The sparkle that held a dominant presence in her big beautiful light brown eyes has disappeared. “Charlie”, I said. There is no reaction to the sound of her name or my presence.
Good job, I really enjoyed reading this excerpt. I loved how it grabs the reader from the first paragraph , it makes you wonder what is yet to come. I like how descriptive your excerpt is, I thought it flowed very nicely. I also found this piece easy to read as well, I can’t wait to read more.
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