With past events occurring in both Ferguson and New York itself, several thoughts have popped up in my head. The fact that the lack of footage was the problem with the case in Ferguson still did not make the results okay. Police have gotten away with excess force on black males for far too long. After the fact  that the case in New York had clear camera footage of the NYPD officer choking the man to death and the cop still gets away with no trial makes no sense whatsoever to me. Moreover I think that certain people’s reaction to these events is what has shocked me more. People asking that why are people protesting. It just makes me feel that certain people are so ignorant to the facts.

Public Argument Proposal

REFANBIB

REFANBIB

 

The topic I’m pursuing is the same topic I wrote about in the rhetorical analysis. The  correlation between violence in adolescents and violent video games has been reoccurring in the past year. Personally I am a gamer and this relates to me in a certain perspective. Due to the various mass shootings and growth in aggressiveness in youth (according to statistics) many mass media outlets have put the gaming industry at fault.  Thus for this assignment I want to prove that there is no relationship between the two . I see me approaching this issue in two ways, the scientific approach and political one. The most popular approach seems to be scientifically when disapproving this “theory”. Many academic journals and popular articles that disprove the theory by bringing up several experiments. The second approach would be stating the laws protecting youths against violence in video games. (Essentially what’s actually intended to help children, but not working.)As a result ,my intended audience will be parents for this assignment. The parent’s responsibility of their kids seem to be the common ground both sides can agree upon. Therefore I think it’s important for the parents to be informed. Since my intended audience are parents I will be using severally academic sources. I still consider myself a child, so parents probably wouldn’t listen to me unless I have good proof from credible sources. My main query nonetheless is why people correlate violence in youth with video games. Violence has been apparent in the movie industry several years before the gaming industry even  debuted. Many politicians have made the connection between the two topics and as a result people are greatly influenced, due to the politicians credibility. Hence a leading question would be why politicians are blaming video games? As you can see this is a topic that has a very far reach in who it impacts. Thus I will try to shed some light on this topic.

 

Project Plan

So far I have decided what “side I’m going to argue for in this project. Most sources seem to use experiments as their justification for their opinions, whether they think violence is related to video games or not. The academic source I am going to use mentions this factor in his journal. He mentions that many experiments have not been done properly or have not acknowledged certain aspects. As a result I will be mentioning two experiments done and their differences mostly. I might include a personal experience, but I feel that would decrease me ethos.

Working with Sources

In, Don’t Buy Your Kids GTA For Christmas  Brad J. Bushman argues that violent videos can lead to aggression or violence itself in young adolescence. Dr. Brad J. Bushman is a Professor of Communication and Psychology in Ohio State University. Using both his own credibility and several experiment he has done, he proves his points. The timeliness of this article is very prevalent in this situation. He wrote the article in December of 2013, in which a lot of events occurred that spurred this very controversial topic. The release of Grand Theft Auto Five and several school shootings both have brought up this topic in the media. (Grand Theft Auto being a very notorious for it’s violence and the attention its attracts from the youth.)

 

In, Don’t Buy Your Kids GTA For Christmas  Brad J. Bushman argues that violent videos can lead to aggression or violence itself in young adolescence. Dr. Brad J. Bushman is a Professor of Communication and Psychology in Ohio State University. Using both his own credibility and several experiment he has done, he proves his points.  Dr Bushman proves his theories and explains his results such as, “So teens eat more and cheat more when they’re under the influence of violent video games.” (Bushman). Nevertheless he believes it is up to the parents, it being their responsibility, to decide whether their child is ready. In his opinion, it’s “every parent’s nightmare” to have their child ask them for this game.(The timeliness of this article is very prevalent in this situation. He wrote the article in December of 2013, in which a lot of events occurred that spurred this very controversial topic. The release of Grand Theft Auto Five and several school shootings both have brought up this topic in the media. (Grand Theft Auto being a very notorious for it’s violence and the attention its attracts from the youth.)

 

Bushman, Brad. “Don’t Buy Your Kids GTA For Christmas ” Huffington Post. 13 December 2013. Web. 6 November 2014

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/brad-j-bushman/dont-buy-your-kid-grand-theft-auto-v-for-christmas_b_4440477.html

They Say/I Say Intro & Chp 1

Intro:

In the introduction to “They Say/I Say: The Moves that Mater in Academic Writing, Gerald Graff and Cathy Birkenstein provides templates designed to clearly state the view of others and the writer’s clearly. The writing templates given are structures/formats people should follow. Although some people believe these templates limit their creativity, Graff and Birkenstein insist that it helps the writers be more creative.

I have mixed feelings about these templates as do many others. The templates given shouldn’t be specific ways to write. However I just take them into consideration and as suggestions. Nonetheless they do help write clear and concise statements while  both explaining the opinion of others and the writer’s.

Chapter One:

Chapter one focuses on the introduction of the passage the writer is writing. They say to always state what the point of the passage is, as a result the readers may be engaged. The thesis needs to be clear and precise so the readers understand what the point of the passage is. Therefore they list several templates which can help introduce several topics. For instance,”Templates for introducing something implied or assumed.”

Quotes:

“the story illustrates an important lesson: that to give writing the most important thing of all-namely, a point…”

“to keep an audience engaged, a writer needs to explain what he or she is responding to…”

“To be responsive to others and the conversation you’re entering, you need to start with what others are saying and continue keeping it in the reader’s view.”

Question:

How would I be able to tell if I’m giving off too much information in the introduction or saying too little?

 

Acts of Revision

Personally doing revisions is something I do nonchalantly. I truly do understand the process and why we do it, however I just think it’s a bad process. One of my professors in high school made me do several draft/revisions before I got to write the final draft. There was always something left to add or take away.  I usually write all my drafts to the full extent, meeting the criteria etc. Therefore the revision process was a bore to me. Revising, editing, and proofreading the same exact thing over and over, very dreadful. The revising part was most of the work because I felt I said everything I needed in the “first draft”. I usually alter it while writing, making corrections etc. Editing is mostly correcting grammar mistakes, fixing the flow of words. Proofreading on the other hand is what I usually do and thus I hate writing drafts. It’s the last step in which you’re mostly done just checking for errors you might have glanced over. Nevertheless I do understand Brock Dethier’s piece on revision. I like how he presented the point of view of the audience. He knows everyone dreads the experience and thus I agree with him. Several resistances he listed to come to my mind when I try to revise. Specifically “3.Revision makes things worse.” stops me from revising. I don’t want to regret making changes. However I guess you must take risks to improve your writing.

Writers Note : Rhetorical Analysis

So far i have finished my outline/zero draft for the essay. I have also started to write my introduction, in doing so I have noticed a couple of changes I have to make already. My outline was really straightforward into where to write what. However as I started to write I noticed all the parts got intertwined. The different parts of the essay, whether it be ethos,logos and pathos, they all connect. Hence I can’t write them in separate paragraphs or in any order. I have to reorganize my outline in a way that would connect all my ideas flawlessly. For instance I started writing about the audience and I noticed I started writing about the language used and who was speaking. Therefore mixing everything together instead of separately.

Rhetorical Analysis Formal Proposal

The topic I want to discuss is the effects of adolescence playing violent video games. Some people say that violence in video games have negative impacts on kids while others say that it has no effect at all. The main reason I want to chose this topic is because, I can relate to it and I want to find the answer for myself. Who knows maybe video games did effect me and I might not even know it. This is a topic I am interested in. and it does come up in conversation in some of my social circles. Therefore, I really want to address this situation; I have the motivation.It is a relevant topic because violence has increased in the past years between youth. Also the video game market is constantly increasing and has been promoting violent games to kids. I still consider myself a kid at times, but I’ll try not to be bias. There are many perspectives I could analyze for this assignment, I’m just not sure which one I should use. Some of the writers are gamers themselves, while others are scientists. They both are people who care of the topic and have their own ethos. In a situation like this pathos doesn’t really come into play based on the articles I have read. Most of them are simply using logos. I think I’ll have to chose better articles because the ones I currently have are very similar. I personally have my own opinion and I will try my best to resist the temptation of wanting to voice it. (I’ll save that for the next assignment.) One question I have is based on a statement said in class. How would I go beyond just saying the pros and cons of the situation. Also I want to ask how the intro or thesis would be formatted, is there an example that can be given in class; maybe referring to Emma Watson’s speech?