Interviewee: My Mom
Context: I was born in 2006. My brother was born in 2008 but in Hong Kong because it technically isn’t part of China (special administrative region) so the one-child policy was not enforced there. My mother only went there to born my brother then immediately came back to China.
The policy was very strict at the time and they even forced abortions. Why did you decide to have a second child?
It was never a logical decision. It was emotional. I wanted a second child because I didn’t want my oldest son to grow up alone. I just wanted a second baby.
How did you avoid being caught? What strategies did you use?
I just tried to stay in doors as much as possible, I was a travel agent but I could do my job remotely so yeah.
Did you talk to your families and friends before having a second child? Did they support or not support your decision?
My parents did not support the idea and they were terrified. They said, “You’re putting the whole family in danger.” My closest friend stopped talking to me for a while because she thought I was selfish and reckless. But later, when she saw both of my boys healthy and happy, she apologized. Even so, at the time, I felt very alone.
How much did you think about getting caught? Any moments you were extremely scared?
Every day. There was a rumor that border officials were asking questions about pregnant women going to Hong Kong. I thought I was going to be arrested when I came back. I still remember hiding in the back seat of the car, lying down with a blanket over me, praying the guard wouldn’t check.
Do you know anyone that was forced to face penalties, such as fines, job loss, or forced procedures because they had a second child before you did and did that affect your decision?
Yes. A neighbor of mine in Guangzhou had a second baby secretly at home. She was found out when someone reported her. Her husband lost his government job, and she was fined over 30,000 yuan which was more than five years of our family’s savings. She cried for weeks. That incident shook me, but it also made me more determined. I didn’t want that to be my story.
Did you face any penalties? If so, which one(s)?
No. We kept everything hidden for years. But it was stressful to get your brother to preschool and we had to keep good connection with the principal to not report.
What are your emotions on the policy? What did you feel when you first heard about this policy compared to now? Did you support this policy?
At first, I understood the government’s position. China was poor. Everyone was scared of starvation. But I think they went too far. Punishing mothers like forced abortions, fines, and job loss for wanting more than one child, that’s not right. It didn’t feel like a policy but rather like control.
Would you do anything different looking back that would’ve maybe helped you out better in the situation?
I wish I had found more people like me, maybe a support group. It was lonely. But it was really hard to trust anybody other than your closest friends you’ve had for decades.
