The Pains of Being Pure with Trends

            My friend recently bought the August 2009 Elle magazine, simply to mock its cover girl. After going through the young sensations fashion spread, she gave me the magazine to actually enjoy. I liked the first seventy pages until I found the preview of Fall 2009 â€œmust buys” from Joe Zee, the creative director of Elle. 

    Zee is supposed to be the kind of style consultant you can trust, and I was excited to see what he would recommend for me and other females to purchase for the coming fall season. But I was surprisingly dismayed at what Zee urged women across America to go out and buy.

            I was not upset by Zee’s picks just because I wouldn’t wear them. Fashion is a form of art, and not everyone is going to agree on what is beautiful. I was disappointed in the “must buys” Zee chose because many of these styles would look horrendous on the everyday American woman looking to spruce up her closet. Many of the pieces he chose can only be worn with strict supervision from a stylist or to look flattering on most women.

            The most unflattering of Zee’s choices is the “new” pant. Oh how I loathe this pant. It’s cropped, pleated and high waisted. This combination, my friends, is the holy trinity of evil when it comes to pants. Joe Zee actually knows this, saying “don’t be scared” in the spread to his readers. Don’t listen to his warnings, be very scared. In fact if you come in contact with these pants, run screaming in the opposite direction as quickly as possible. 

    The cropping of the pants will minimize the length of your leg. The pleating will make your thigh seem bigger than it actually is. And the high waisting of the pants will make your crotch look much longer or larger. Exciting right?

            Zee also preaches the greatness of colored denim, especially in a slim cut. This is great if you’re a scene kid. Colored denim does not always make one look as though they have fallen out of the local Hot Topic; but as I said previously, without a stylist or amazing taste it can veer in that direction. Also this cut and color maximizes the largeness of someone’s thigh. Again.

            The creative director of Elle said that the over-the-knee boot is only easy to wear for “pretty women” or women aiming for that look. Although, he still believes you should invest in the boots for the fall to wear over pants and jeans. This would look wonderful on model thin girls but women with thicker calves or shorter legs need not buy.  

            The last problematic en vogue piece that Zee wants you to buy is the big-shouldered jacket. I actually love the idea of the jacket; one of my favorite designers, Marc Jacobs, filled his show with them. But, I don’t believe most women would look attractive in a 1980s-inspired jacket that could make them look like a line backer. In the photo Zee styled for Elle, the jacket with denim hot shorts balanced the outfit well on a very thin young model. The problem is most women aren’t models or going to wear hot pants in the middle of October.

            I don’t want to seem as though I dislike everything Joe Zee thinks is a “must buy.” His suggestion of the loose white tee would look great on any and every woman. It can be layered and is wearable from fall to summer–which  is great in this economy. The bootie, another “must buy,” would also look great with many types of outfits, and can be worn from the boardroom to the bar. Lastly, studs, when not worn in a costume-like way, can look both tough and sexy. That kind of dynamic will always be flattering.  

            With the constant evolution of what’s “in” for the fashion industry, my advice is don’t try to always be trendy. Not every craze will make you look the best you can, so don’t try to emulate every runway trend. Especially not in this economy.