I think “why” a lot. Why was I the one destined for failure while Anna was made to succeed? Why I was the one cursed, and the one who would wind up becoming permanently handicapped? How is it that now, when I am 30-years-old, I spend my days at a disabled learning center while Anna is out experiencing life? I am restricted, and caught in a trap that will never be broken while Anna is living her life to the fullest.
Anna has a life with her family while I have nothing, but endless days at the center. I used to wonder how such things could happen. Is it to test oneâÂÂs ability to see if one can outlive this nightmare? Why are some put through this hardship? I grew up believing in a higher power in a g-d that helped the world, and create no evil. But how can there be a g-d that would put me through this? How can my family pray to something that caused me this much pain?
I long for the days when I will be finished with the learning center. I pine for the day when i will wake up and this will all be a dream. I dream instead of thinking about the harsh reality of having a stage four brain tumor that caused me to be handicapped mentally and physically. I can only hope that one day the curse will be broken and I will be destined for success.