Teens Wrestle Technology From Parents to Preserve Family Time

Rushing through pedestrian traffic with several bags in hand, dodging yellow speeding cabs on every street and racing time to fulfill errands is not an easy task for anyone, but for Michelle Pajevic it iss harder because her mother periodically stops to reply to every text message, even if she’s in the middle of the street. 

“Whatever happened to the golden rule – look both ways?” Michelle, 17, joked. “It’s funny now, but very irritating trying to keep someone alive who is glued to her cellphone. The purpose was to shop together and I did most of the work.”

Several teens interviewed said that when they want to talk to their parents about something important, they first have to compete with Blackberries, cell phones and the Internet. And many times, they lose.

“When I need to tell her something important about my day or a decision I need help making, she’ll make me wait because she’s on the phone and that’s majority of the time,” said wide eyed Michelle.

Michelle said the constant interruption from technology makes her feel insignificant and can be discouraging. This holds her back from being able to express herself because of the constant gap between them.

“Sometimes it gets me mad, but I just give up because I don’t want to bother her,” Michelle added shrugging the stress off. 

Some teens said technology has limited the time parents spend with them and they feel as if they are being ignored. Ana Cruz ,16, is one of the many teens that can more than relate to this. 

And it’s not always new media that gets in the way of family time.

“My dad would stare at the television all day, while my mom would play cards with me. Sometimes I wish the T.V would magically break,” said Ana, laughing. “That way he wouldn’t have a choice but to spend time with us.” 

Some teens admitted they have gone to extremes to get their parents’ attention.

“I thought if I ran away from home my mom would pay more attention to me and it would bring us closer together, instead of being segregated into our worlds,” said Kristen Avil, 16. “That was a dramatic, but it was sure to get a response. However in the end I decided to confront her instead.” she added.

“Now, everything has gotten better between us and we spend more time with one another, we go out to eat and the movies,” she said.  

For some teens, they believe that their parents unintentionally forget that being absorbed in their cell phones, T.V or Internet fun can be hurtful.

“Sometimes it bothers me when my dad is always on his Xbox 360 playing online. Like I’ll tell him “hey dad let’s go do something,” he’ll just brush it off and say “okay, okay when we have time,” said Kassandra Merced, 16. “I’m still waiting for that time.”

In addition some even feel the more advanced technology becomes, the less dialogue and family activities they get to experience with their parents. 

“We used to make weekly trips to NYC when I was a little girl, after long days of school or work for hours to spend quality time and just talk as a family. Now we never do,” said Kassandra.

However, not all teens feel this strongly about spending quality time. It’s not an issue that they would stress.

“When we are together doing those things, we have to leave the television, computer and our cellphones alone because it’s disrespectful to interrupt. My parents came from [the Dominican Republic] so they didn’t have time to adapt to the new technology, so that rule solely applies to the kids,” said Christopher Torres, 18.

Some parents defend being attached to their email when not at work. Daniel Merced, Kassandra’s father, said he needed to be connected at all times in case an important dignitary or politician came to Federal Hall, where he worked a laborer. 

However, he concedes that technology has affected his daughters’ behaviors. “Comparing my childhood to my daughters, technology has made a drastic change,” Merced, 40, said. When I was a kid I would go biking with my friends all over NYC and rush to go play football. Now people can go online to play football and speak to their friends on Facebook, Twitter or BBM them. ”