1.In two sentences, talk about what you are writing about in the first essay.
2.Based on the feedback that I received from my group members, here are two things that I should do to further develop my first essay.
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1. I will be talking about the economic help my family needed and helping the family business full time. I talked about the high responsibility and work rate thats caused by working and online classes.
2. I talked about how I overcame the mental and physical stressed but never about the overcoming of the circumstances, my partner gave me insight on how I could add more about my school hardships and I coped with timing and assignments.
I am writing about my past experience with COVID-19. How COVID-19 has impacted me and shaped me the way I am.
Two advice that I received from my group members are; figure out your climax so you know when to start your resulation. Write one paragraph on the advantages and disadvantages of COVID-19 in my life.
I will be writing about my social anxiety that started during the pandemic and how it effected my school and social life. I had lost a lot of relationships and connections. I was afraid that if I continues this way I would eventually loose myself. So I made a resolution for my self to go out there and out my comfort zone.My partners advised me to give details on how I felt during this time and also some dialogue so that I can give the reader a better under. I want the reader to put themselves in my shoes and view things from my perspective.
1:what i will be writing about in my first essay is the challenges i faced during Covid such as the staying home, learning from online and learning to adjust
2: two things i should do to further my develop my essay is have my resolution on how i coped with everything happening in my life and the conflict i faced. My partners gave me ideas on what i could use to help better write in my essay
1. I will be talking about the obstacles I faced during COVID -19 and how there was a lot of isolation all over the world and was a very depressing period of time. As well as how I thought covid wasn’t so bad until things impacted my family and people around me daily .
2 . I should add more dialogue and incorporate more details about my inner feeling .
My essay topic is the trouble of being stuck at home in lockdown. It will also focus on how multiple issues ended up leading to a boiling point in my home. Something that I was advised to work on is what I was feeling like during that time of being stuck with my family. I was also told to better improve on the resolution of that issue created by staying in my home and how what I thought to myself after this troublesome situation.
What I am going to be talking about in my first essay is the negative and positive traits that I learned about myself. How I was going to work on the ways to change my negative traits to get more positive one.
One thing that are going to develop is make a better hook and make it more interesting for my reader.
Another is give more of a background of these negative traits came to be and how I felt about them at the time.
I would be writing about racism that I faced and the idea of being Asian in the situation. As well as, the at home not being able to go out.
The feedback that I received from my group members are the ability to go more into the dialog that they say to me and trying to have the description of it.
1-I writing about online classes and how this affects my grades in some classes because of procrastination and less concentration due to my family(cousins also have online classes too).
2- things that I should develop in my essay are how to overcome this problem like making a schedule or planner and how don’t have a lot of time living in the USA(just 4 years) makes my English speaking skills worst.
In my first essay I will focus on my grandparents death during Covid, not being able to see them since they were in the hospital during that time and focusing on how that affected school. I will also focus on how depression and isolation both connected between the death and falling behind of my classes.
Two things I should do in my essay to develop it is being very descriptive so my audience can experience the emotion and action while reading it and making sure it is in first person perspective.
generally, mental health is where the covid has hit the most and it will be theme I’ll hit the most in my essay. Climax will be a certain story/experience from the stage when I went to schizophrenia.
how my life looked like just before the covid. life in peak and after
& Psychic condition through all of these stages.
I’ll expand the essay by trying to answer the question: does the life shape the person or vice versa? …
I will try to be descriptive of some life scapes, scenes, experiences and not to just narrate my thoughts.
response & outcome.
…
(no feedback)
1.I will be talking about how the pandemic made be more of an introvert and challenges I faced being one.
2. Feedbacks my partners gave to me is to further develop my essay is find the climax and centralize my topic.
In the first essay, I will write about how Covid has impacted the entire world and also how it affected my life during 2 years.
From the feeback that I recieved from my group members, here are two things that I should do futhur to develop my essay: dialogue and resolution.
In my first essay, I am thinking of just writing about the difficulties that I had during Covid 19. How I was the one who was responsible for all things. I was the main figure. I had to carry out certain actions for myself and for my father. My dad didn’t care about this pandemic as much as I or my mom did. Since I was the youngest one in the family, I had to do all the responsibilities. Which, included sanitizing phones and where ever place he touches before washing his hands. This made me frustrated. It was as if this became my job all of a sudden. Although, I had lots of my own personal work, such as homework.
My group members told me 1)to develop an interesting hook and
2)to organize my thoughts during certain situations and how I was the only one thinking of the pandemic.
In my essay I willing be talking about how I made life adjustments during the the time of Covid. I will talk about my moving process and how I cope with being enlisted in the army at that time. Base off the feed back I got from my peers I was told to make sure it as good details. Also to make sure I have a great point of interest that catches the reader attention.
1. In this essay i will be writing about how covid affected me with school and my mental health. I will talk about my ups and downs that I went through.
2. My partners told me to put more details about my hardships
1-I will be writing about my social life that Covid-19 affect me. Also about what I did to overcome communication with people and making friends and what I did in during Covid.
2- Thinking about more detail and think about the problem and connecting with with the topic and think more about the experience about me.
My group members told me to organize my thoughts during certain situations to further develop my essay. They also told me to explain how I felt as the only one who was thinking of the pandemic.
1. I’ll be talking about how the pandemic affected my time management, how I felt during that time, my behavior, my adaptation and development to another country. Talking about something simple as just spending too much time in one place can be influence yourself.
2. My partners gave me suggestion on how can I give details about how I felt and happened during that time.
In my first essay I will be writing about my struggles with my mental health during the pandemic. I will also be writing about my struggles trying to find my identity and how I overcame those obstacles. Based on the feedback I got from my group members something that I will keep in my mind will be to remember to show the story and not just tell. I need the reader to feel like they are there at that time. Also I would keep in mind the way I am going to structure my essay. I need to make sure that my beginning, climax, and resolution is explicitly stated. My essay should run smoothy and not have a rushed beginning/ending.
1. For my first essay I will be talking about my struggles from being an active person to being closed up in my house with my family. Also the struggles of the pandemic that affected both my family and I. During the pandemic I lost myself and who I was. I became a nurse, a helper, a cooker, and a cleaner. But I was never myself the person that was also active and loved to bake. There was nothing todo inside but stare at the four walls of my house and do the pile of assignments my teachers left me.
2. Based on the feedback that i received from my group members, they suggested that I should use a lot of dialogue. Since I will be talking about my family. Adding dialogue from their point of view will make the essay from interesting. They also suggested to break done each important in one paragraph so it doesn’t getting boring. Ounce you write a lot of one topic it will get boring and lose the interest of the reader.
I will write my first essay about my experience with the covid-19 pandemic. I will further elaborate on the experience that I went through and the challenges that I faced.
Based on the feedback that I received from my groupmates I will start my essay with an introduction about where and how the virus started and explain chronologically how it consumed our lives.
1.) My first essay will explain the struggles I encountered pre-pandemic and post-pandemic. It will go into how the pandemic and lockdown affected me mentally and physically. For example, the struggles I faced with online learning and how it affected my education, and how the pandemic affected my health by causing me to gain weight.
2.) My group members suggested that incorporate I more details into my writing. In the draft that I shared, I was very vague with the details because I wanted to list down as many ideas as possible, but my writing sounded like it was all over the place. I should express more about how I was feeling at the moment, and give a brief description of an outside point of view. I should also incorporate a resolution, which is going to be difficult for me to come up with because I am somewhat still trying to overcome some of the struggles covid brought.
1. I will be talking about how my quinceanera /sweet 15 party was cancelled because of covid after being postponed for more than 2 times. Lots of my money was wasted.
2. My peers suggested that I should talk more about how this affected me emotionally since it’s a big tradition in my culture.
I will be writing about being unsure of what to do during the pandemic. This led me to find a friend who will watch digital media with me.
The first suggestion that my group gave me was to be more descriptive by keeping in mind the five senses. The second suggestion they gave me was to write down all the conflicts I face before I found my solution.
1. On this essay I will talk about how the pandemic affected my life after not being able to see my mom because of the flights that were all canceled and because so the new rules “ get vaccinated or you will not be able to enter another country” what got me thinking what is happening in this world. Things got complicated from studying at home to not being able to gather with friends and family. All of this has affected me mentally and emotionally.
2. two things that I should do to further develop my first essay is to try to connect my ideas together, to talk about detailed events, and talk about how I overcome the conflict.
2.
1. I will write about how my life changed after my little brother and sister got covid. I needed to take care of them and while taking care of them I found out that I too had covid.
2. My group member told me give more details and think about the something influence yourself.
1) I’ll be writing about how the pandemic made me very anti-social. I wouldn’t go out as much as I used to. I started talking less to the people I used to talk to almost every day. I was in charge of keeping the house clean before my mom and siblings came back from work. A lot was expected from me, This made me very stressed out. I felt like I didn’t have time since I was so busy growing as a person.
2) I think one I can improve on is choosing one main topic. I should either talk about my home life during the pandemic or my social life.
In the first essay I am going to explain how did covid effect my family and mess up all the plan that we have. Then I will focus on the life the I have when I got covid-19. How did it effect my life, for example it mess up my plan like my senior trip I have missed it. Based on the feed back that I receive from my group, I should focus on one topic and need to focus on a climax like When I got covid will be a climax and can’t go to the senior trip will be the falling action and resolution. Another one will be the make sure to organize the timeline and add some conversation.
1. In my first essay draft, I’m going to talk about my mental health state during the pandemic and how isolation, being in a family that lives separated, and having the risk of losing my grandparents affected me emotionally and physically. Furthermore, I will explore how I got out of a state of constant sadness and unhappiness and my reflection on it.
2. My group partners suggested me to use a lot of “show don’t tell” when describing how I felt. They told me to have an understandable structure for my essay and also. Moreover, I should clearly explain how I got out of this mental state I was.
For my first essay, I’m gonna write about how Covid-19 affected me in a good and bad way. I will write about how i was adopting to taking classes online and how it was confusing in the beginning but work out really well for me, so well that it was my best academic year through out my high school career. but the bad part was my social life, I couldn’t hangout with my friends, play on my school team.
Two things that I should do further develop my first essay explain better on my ideas and elaborate on how covid-19 changed me.
1) I’ll be talking about how the pandemic affects me with school, classes, friends, and my mental health. Also I’ll write how do I overcome them during the pandemic.
2) From the feedback that I received from my group members, two things that they told, add more details what things that you are struggling with and overcome them.
This is correct grammer
1) I’ll be talking about how the pandemic affected me throughout school, classes, friends, and my mental health. Also I’ll write how I overcame them during the pandemic.
2) From the feedback that I received from my group members, two things that they told me, add more details about things that you are struggling with and overcome them.
1. How pandemic effect my personal health, my family and my education
2. My partner says what they have to do when their family aren’t feeling well.
1. I will be talking about how Covid has impacted the entire world and also how it affected my life during 2 years.
2. My group members told me to explain how I felt during Covid and add more details.