One of my interviewees was my Jujutsu trainer Serreste Barton. He is 36 years old and his daughter is only 3. First, I wanted to find out his schooling background.
“Hello Serreste, the first thing I would like to know is your level of education.”
“Hello Roksolana, I attended Midwood High School, class of 98′. Medgar Ever College, class of 12′. BS in both biology and psychology, and MS in biology.”
Besides being well educated, he also attends gym, teaches martial arts and takes a great care of his daughter Sariyah while also having time to date women. You may ask how does he have time to do all that?”. Serreste probably does not remember that, but a little bit over a year ago I told him that I have/want so much to do but I do not have time to do it all. And he told me “Roksy you have all the time you want, there are 24 hours in a day, how much could you have done if you used every hour of the day wisely?“. It something he said more than a year ago but it something that resides in my memory till this day.
As things come to his daughter, he involved her in some extracurricular activities, such as ballet, and now Sariyah also also attends a hip hop class. I frequently see his posts on Facebook of his daughter how he spends time with her and how much fun they both have together.
“Who takes care of you daughter?”
“My daughter lives her grandmother on her mother side. Why? You may ask. Because when I left her mother pick up the slack. My daughter’s mother does not have a congruent schedule that would allow her to watch our daughter on a day to day bases.”
Serreste asked me if I needed any pictures regarding our conversation. I said “Sure! Send them my way.”
Another person I had a brief discussion about being a single father is my acquaintance Bradley. I did not spend much time with him, but what I learned from him is that he only halfway finished a two year college. Bradley said he was very close to graduating, but then other responsibilities took over and he had to work more. When I asked him if he plans to go back to getting his education, Bradley said yes since the kids are older now. Currently Bradley is 33 years old with two kids. His son is 9 and daughter is 12. When I asked him who takes care of the kids, Bradley said that he supports them financially, ending up paying 97% of the expenses. He said that his daughter never asks her mother for anything so that is why he spends so much.
What I can say from comparing my two interviewees’ lives is that being single can be taugh, because if you do not reside with the children, you do not have a chance to come home and see them all the time, it is a constant work on the scheduling who will see the kid and when. Also education wise, Serreste is 36 years old, so by the time he was 30 he managed to get his Masters and at this point of his life he is just going up the ladder at his job. While Bradley on the other hand, became a single father when he was only 21, that is around the time had to drop out of college.