a voice assignment 2

Sometimes I look around me seeing all these people who could easily start a conversation. When people say it is very easy to speak what you want but have you thought of the consequences. Today I will be introducing you to two authors Mary Donovan Turner ,and Mary Lin Hudson from finding women’s voice in preaching and our other author who is Malcolm Hill from Children’s Voices on Ways of Having a Voice who will be telling us about the struggles of a person not voicing their opinion; it could be both young and adults. To understand how a person loses their voice some authors might use pathos, logos and personal experience on this matter. 

We’ll start with how both authors structured their work. The first one we’re going to take a look at is Malcolm Hill’s work. His topic was about Children’s voice on ways of having a voice. In this book he stated based on the research he did, kids can have their own opinion but compared to the adults they keep their mouth shut. It has a more of an informative tone where he talks about the outcome of his research and why children don’t have a voice sometimes. What he noticed is children only respond when an adult asks them to. The author had a structure where he first used logos to explain the way children communicate is a lot different than adults which is why at first it takes time to understand what they want. Malcom Hill also described “how difficult it was to obtain a children’s perspective since the pattern of a child speaking is different compared to an adult”(Malcom Hill). From reading this I realize we don’t really pay attention to what children really think. 

Let’s take a look at the second authors we’ll be reviewing Mary Donovan Turner ,and Mary Lin Hudson to be saved to silence. Unlike Malcolm’s work they talked about how a lost woman is when her voice is silent. The tone they gave is more of a serious tone. the topic itself isn’t lighthearted when they talk about how a woman loses themselves over time. In chapter 6 the author uses Pathos to pull people in by having us look at just how a women’s wings torn by the chains that held them. By the words they used “you feel like you saw that women felt being trapped in an isolated room forgetting who they once were” (Mary Donovan Turner ,and Mary Lin Hudson). What is similar about these to articles is how they both go into depth on how the atmosphere around them shapes them into having a voice. However this subject was different, one as children and the other as an adult. 

Why don’t we talk about the inventions of both authors? In Malcolm Hill’s book he said that a lot of the time the atmosphere around the children can give them a different perspective on having a voice. This has to due with personal experience here the children learned it best not to speak when this type of event has occurred. It proves my point “when they are faced with a group of strangers they would barely talk because they weren’t comfortable”.(Malcolm Hill) This is the cause and effect here. The cause of this is the child was being sat next to people they didn’t know. The outcome of this would  be they wouldn’t communicate with each other like they lost their voice because they weren’t comfortable to be the first one to do so. 

The second authors Mary Donovan Turner ,and Mary Lin Hudson idea of a voice is a lot more different. The main point of their book would be why a woman loses their voice which is the cause. This book is comparing modern times and the New testament . During that time women have already lost their voice for centuries because what they were taught, they used a metaphor in the book explaining people can’t find out women have their own thoughts. The effect of this would be how the author explains as a woman you should never abandon your voice, sure it might seem like nothing but the moment you throw it away you lose something to defend yourself. In this personal experience the author has told us many times the struggles of women thinking a voice is nothing but it the only thing a woman could use to fight back.

both of these books are link to my memory in different ways. For the first one about children’s finding a voice it has to do with the fact children will be affected by what’s around how they choose to use that voice when they have someone to agree with or an adult has given permission. That was me when I was younger. I always want to agree with my friends thinking this is the best way to fit in. or in saved from silence they said “There’s a struggle for lost of voice or to authorize”.(Mary Donovan Turner ,and Mary Lin Hudson). I would say it kind of does link to me as I grew older I realize losing a voice is a lot more serious than it looks. You can voice your own opinion on this matter.

Based on both books alone I can say each of them were both focusing on a voice but their main focus is completely different. Each author demonstrated that a voice can still be there, it is just that we need to learn how to use it properly with the correct guides, otherwise the person who is struggling might think it better to close the voice that helps them. The respective authors had a different way of telling their topic one is through analysis while the other look over at society and comparing it to before to see how much has it changed.

5 thoughts on “a voice assignment 2

  1. Grow
    -Your essay could benefit from clearer transitions between the discussions of each author’s work. It would be helpful to explicitly state the purpose of the essay and provide a clear thesis statement.
    – Your essay should also include a conclusion that summarizes the main points and ties the analysis together.
    -The introduction provides a general overview of the authors and their works but fails to present a specific purpose for the essay.
    – I couldn’t find the topic sentences of each paragraph. So you need to make the topic sentence more clear.
    -The essay would benefit from a more coherent and logical organization of ideas to improve clarity and coherence
    -The essay lacks a clear organizational structure. The transitions between paragraphs are abrupt, and the flow of ideas is disjointed.

  2. Hi Amy,

    Thank you for sharing your story with me.

    My main feedback for revision lies in these aspects:

    – Some minor grammatical errors:
    – Not putting quotation marks around source titles, not capitalizing source titles
    – Can use commas in some areas to separate thoughts and improve clarity
    – Areas could be reworded for better clarity or flow while reading. This could also help your points stand out more and have more strength.
    – Better transitions between paragraphs, whether it be topic sentences or ending off an idea and transitioning to the next.
    – Conclusion: I felt as though it summed up what your essay was about, but didn’t leave us (the readers) with something to act on or capitalize on.

    What I enjoyed most:

    – Your analysis of both texts. I understood what each text was about, and what you compared and contrasted from them.
    – I understood what each paragraph was about and what type of rhetorical appeal, canon, or convention you spoke on.

    Some questions I still have:

    – What do you want to leave us (the readers) thinking about or acting upon when we finish this piece?

    Some last comments:

    You had some great ideas and comparisons and contrasts from each text, you are on the right track. With some better execution and wording of these ideas, this piece could be perfect.

  3. Glows:
    -You started with an interesting introduction by presenting your own experience.
    -Your thesis statement clearly outlines the main argument of your essay and introduces the two texts you will be using to support your argument.
    -You did well in using quotations from both authors’ works to support your argument.
    Grows:
    -You should use quotation marks for the two texts you are researching in the introduction.
    -You could clarify some sentences to make it clearer. For example, in the first body paragraph discussing Malcolm Hill’s work, the sentence “What he noticed is children only respond when an adult asks them to” could be expanded to provide more context or explanation.
    -There are some punctuation errors where there is a period in the middle of a sentence. Also, you did not capitalize the first word of the sixth paragraph.

  4. Glows:

    – Your essay opens with a personal reflection, which is a great way to draw readers in and establish a connection with them. It sets a warm and inviting tone for the rest of the piece
    – Your analysis of the structure of each author’s work is insightful and helps to highlight the differences between them. It shows that you’ve thought deeply about the texts and their underlying themes.

    Grows

    – It might be beneficial to consider potential counterarguments or alternative perspectives on the concept of voice. This would demonstrate a more nuanced understanding of the topic and encourage critical thinking.
    – Some sentences could be clearer and more concise. Simplifying your language and structure would make your ideas easier to follow and understand.

  5. Glow
    – Your essay begins with a personal story, which adds credibility to your prompt because it links to the references you provide to support your points.
    – You expanded on your source very well and the use of quotations brought authenticity to your points

    Grow
    – Your topic sentences can help you develop your thesis statement more effectively.
    – Some sentences could be more concise as they seem to be run ons or repetitive , by doing this you can transition words or stronger vocabulary the summarizes your sentence briefly. This will help you transition from point to analysis in an organized manner

Comments are closed.