Retrace Inward
My mind brimming with thoughts, selecting the perfect words. Like a machine, I select words based on a recollection of factual evidence. But, when asked to create a personal piece of writing, my heart sinks. My mind completely shuts down and I struggle to even begin. Personal pieces of literature were and still will be my biggest fear as a writer. Whereas, I always preferred informative pieces of literature due to the accessibility of information. However, this fear is the cause of my writer’s block. It was until high school when I was introduced to the terms: ethos, logos, and pathos. To no surprise, I was continuously told that I lacked pathos. I find it ironic that I am able to perceive other people’s thoughts and emotions to a degree, yet when it comes to myself, my mind blocks the idea. In terms of perceiving the writer, people may categorize me as a psychopath. Often mistaken for psychotic or insane, it is a vague word that is interpreted as a person who lacks the empathy of others and strives for the best outcome in many situations, including conversations. Though, I am conflicted to wrong their assumptions as they may be true. In human nature, people will project their flaws and faults on others. However, in this case, it is an internal fight against myself.
Apart from the inability to communicate with others, I lack creativity. Compared to my peers, I am certain that I am the least creative. This is mainly due to the fact of my daily lifestyle. Every day is a repetition of the previous. From the meals to the daily activities, it is all the same. In fact, I have not gone outside ever since the pandemic occurred. Lately, I have been pondering whether to break this cycle I am trapped in, but I see no merits in going out. I wouldn’t say my disinterest in going out is due to the pandemic because this is always how I have been. More specifically, I have rarely gone out of my room, commonly no interactions with my family. As a result of my lack of outside experiences, I find myself at a loss of creativity. When a person is stuck in a room for many years, there are a limited amount of different thoughts produced.
There are many ways for a writer to improve. One way to improve is to focus more on oneself and have a greater knowledge of their writing consciously. As a writer, one uses different techniques to send a message to readers around the world. However, there are certain limitations that affect the writer, whether it is a writing style or even personally. In my case, personality and the lack of real-life experiences are determinants towards me being a good writer. Though, it is necessary to improve me as a writer and figure how to break out of the cage I am in.