Well, I cant really think of any experiences which changed who I am except for Dec 18, 2009 when I received my acceptance letter. I had went through high school absolutely hating the routine tedious and meaningless work. I actually enjoyed hating high school. Then I received proof that I was finally going to leave what I considered to be a Gothic styled prison, and then it hit me, I don’t want to leave. I was just baffled because I couldn’t believe I was finally going to leave. I became more lax. I have been known as callous, and had strict morals on issues that had nothing to do with me, but it seems as if knowing I was going to leave tech just made me happy. I no longer cared to be bothered with values, I became indifferent. Now I can’t say I am completely indifferent, but I don’t concern myself with issues I cannot resolve. Sure I am still callous to some extent but not as forced; I tend to no longer start arguments for the sake of raising questions and arguing.
I expected college to be more enjoyable, a release from routine and tedious meaningless work. I was terribly wrong, if anything there is more tedious work that still has no meaning. I would never have guessed a cuny would be so arduous. I can only hope that once I am finally given a choice after the first semester then I will experience what college is like because currently I am disappointed. I expected to be in classes that taught me something even remotely necessary or beneficial to know. Sadly, I can only say this about one of my classes. I also expected to be in a completely new environment with new people and new experiences. For the most part that is true, and I have been enjoying it, but it still disturbs me that I feel as if I attend Baruchlyn Tech. What I expect to happen later is I will make a schedule that works for me and interests me. Something tells me even that wont happen due to core requirements which always tend to be the worst classes. I have come to realize that undergrad is an unnecessary buffer between high school and grad school that has to be endured.
I hope to finish my first semester with a 4.0 and an interesting schedule to look forward to in the second semester. My only concern is I wont hit that 4.0 because some classes make most days unbearable and my horrendous schedule doesn’t help my cause.
EDITED -8 days later
I went back to tech and spoke to my teachers. They too agreed that having 3 tests a semester and a final plus mandatory attendance is high school all over again, not how college is supposed to be. Just as I expected, they told me that it should be a midterm, final, and voluntary attendance except for science classes due to labs. Perhaps this will be the case, my upperclassmen friends have given me the impression that this is the case half of the time. I don’t believe in attending a class in which I have covered the subject matter but was not given the AP credit for or any class in which the subject matter is too easy and class is unnecessary.
Reflecting back at high school, I realized that I failed to make it more than just tedious meaningless work until it was time to go and I told myself that I wouldn’t let college be the same. Come to think of it, I am not letting myself repeat the last 4 years again. It isn’t just about the work load(routine and tedious meaningless work). I seemed to have emphasized too much on that part. I noticed that high school, and apparently this college system, works in a cycle; you have periods of absolutely little to no work, then suddenly 2 weeks later you have 2 projects and 3 tests all in a week. When I last wrote in this blog, I was in that week of too much to do too little time.
So to revise my previous answer, I do not know what to expect. I will make the best with what I have. Plus, the classes I found useless and arbitrary actually taught me stuff, not based on the class’ subject, but more of a new perspective. Perhaps undergrad is a necessary buffer just to give kids time to mature and open their eyes to new things they previously despised with a passion.
