The dreaded question: Who am I? You’d think after all of those college admittance essays I would’ve coined the perfect two-sentence description of myself already, but I don’t think my eighteen years of experience can be summed up in just a few lines (or maybe its just a good excuse for my writers block). This introduction is going to be a little trickier than anticipated.
Born and raised in a suburban neighborhood in Brooklyn, I jumped at the chance to go to the city whenever I could. Although one may not know everyone else’s business, my town was still ordinary. The same routine day after day, I craved the excitement of the city and I was drawn to the city lights like a mosquito. The fast-paced, “time is money” type of lifestyle intrigued me. In New York City you’re able to be whoever you want to be without the fear of people judging you. There are far more important things here than not matching your shoes to your outfit. Luckily, I actually have the opportunity to be whoever I want to be and study (for free!) at Baruch College in a beautiful NYC area.
Who I will become in the future is yet to be determined; however, I owe who I am today to my grandfather. A few years ago, my grandfather fell victim to Alzheimer’s. I watched the wisest, most intelligent man I’ve ever known slowly lose all of his faculties. Accepting that my only grandfather would slowly forget my existence was a tragedy in itself; however, the real burden came when I realized he would eventually forget the events in his life that defined him. Every frivolous argument, warm embrace and tear that has ever streamed down his cheek would be erased from his memory; gone forever. As I was saying what turned out to be my final goodbye, I can’t say I experienced an epiphany, but it definitely was a transformative moment. I’ve realized how fragile life really is. Instead of rushing around dwelling on past inadequacies or future problems, Alzheimers taught me to step away from the pressures of society and appreciate the splendor of the moment. What was once just another disease has transformed the way I perceive my surroundings and has endowed me with a new appreciation for life.
Coming into this new experience is definitely a huge transition, but I intend to make these years of my life count. Accepting change is difficult and there are times where I just want to rewind back to my childhood and stay there, but this isn’t Neverland and I’m no Peter Pan. Change is gradual and fearing the future is natural, but Baruch enables me to be in control of my future and grow as an academic and a person. What I do with these resources is up to me. The juggling may be a struggle, but I do expect a lot of myself and I will keep myself motivated. In my upcoming years here at the college I intend to break the commuter-college curse. I will try to get myself involved as much as I can while maintaining my grades and building life-long friendships. Here’s to the future and the freshman college rollercoaster ride!
Life is full of self-defining moments. Most are bittersweet.
