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Author Archives: cm142590
Posts: 3 (archived below)
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Journal#3: Next Steps…
There is no way to return to the past unless you mysteriously discover or invent a time machine. You cannot simply tinker with time or even freeze time for two seconds. When the batteries run out of power on one clock, other clocks continue to function, following nearly consistent tick tocks. With that said, it has been 102 days since the first day of fall semester started, 102 days since the first day of classes with an amazing LC, 102 days since the official college journey began.
In the beginning of the semester, I joined Baruch’s Japan Club with two friends but stopped attending club meetings after they stopped attending as well. My first club experience may have been short-lived but I have designed my schedule for the spring semester to force and/or encourage myself to try joining a club again.
I would have to say that the library is the most useful of the resources I used. When we were little, we may have thought that any library would be similar to a “horror movie,” but the Newman Library has proved to be far from such a film. To me, it is a place filled with convenient printers, overrated sofa-chairs (I personally did not find them relaxing), and tables that provide me with larger workspaces than I have at home.
While my group and I had not used Baruch’s resources to find the non-profit organization that we would be volunteering at in the spring, I think that the search for the organization and the presentation have taught me a few things. First: You have to consider not just the service, but what the service means. I have volunteered at a profit organization for the last three years, mainly assisting teachers and teaching children one-on-one. That was the service — what the service meant to the organization was a greater efficiency and one more volunteer on the team. I hope that volunteering at God’s Love We Deliver in the spring will mean the same although it is a non-profit. Second: You have to search for alternatives. Initially, my group and I had contacted a staff member from the City Parks Foundation. Unfortunately, a situation formed (partially due to Hurricane Sandy) and we were forced to find a new organization.
I have personally used the second lesson to seek a method to do something I have wanted to try for years: learn Chinese, particularly Mandarin. At first, I tried using Mango Languages, a language program that is available on the Newman Library website (under Databases). Regrettably, the program did not help me. I considered taking a Chinese language class at Baruch only to be convinced that the class would be too difficult for me. That did not stop my search; I finally found a beginner’s class (by beginner, I mean exceedingly beginner, I am not ashamed to admit I am sitting in the class with five/six-year olds) that my former volunteer place offered to me for free.
In the next three years, I see myself pursuing further goals and hopefully in more support centers. While I have been idle for much of my first semester due to bad time management, I hope that I will be able to “branch out” and accomplish more in the next three years.
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Journal#2: What does it mean to serve your community?
About a month ago, a friend jokingly called Baruch Scholars and Honors students the “bourgeois” and “noble” classes of Baruch undergraduates. A few seconds later, she also called herself and other non-Honors students “peasants.” Clearly, this is a reference to the distinction in scholarship grants given to different types of students – for me, it means full tuition and for her, it literally means no money.
Full tuition does not come “free” though; there are certain requirements that Scholars and Honors students have to meet to remain in the Honors program. As Scholars students, we have to take at least ten Honors classes, maintain at least a 3.3 or 3.5 GPA (depending on credits), as well as meet other requirements. In a sense, we have relinquished an air of freedom for an air of seriousness. Instead of playing a game of Mafia during freshman seminar (what my friend’s class did during one class), we were discussing information regarding our presentations on non-profit organizations.
The air of seriousness is necessary, in a way: we are students first and we represent the Baruch Honors program as well as the Baruch community. As students, our first goal is to graduate and as Scholars/Honors students, we want to make sure we graduate with Honors. However, our college journey does not stop at our student life. The Honors program places a large emphasis on volunteering with non-profit organizations. Through this volunteer service, we are giving back to our community and fulfilling a role that pertains to both the Baruch community and the Baruch Honors program. Time and effort is given to a specific cause that benefits not just us (by helping us fulfill the requirement), but others as well. Additionally, both Baruch and the Honors program emphasize cultural events. It is through attending these events that help us fulfill a role in the community in general: becoming open-minded people. A cultural event is a learning experience and may just captivate our minds. Through all the aspects, the Honors program and Baruch community are trying to help us develop constantly and grow as people.
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Journal#1: Where have you been and where are you going?
I am not an actress. I do not want to be spoon-fed lines that someone wants me to recite during a certain scene or directed when to enter and exit the set. Society, with its rules and regulations, already compels us to follow certain laws and threatens to place negative sanctions should we choose to go against them. Although society and authoritative figures are in control of various aspects of our lives, I value independence and the need to belong.
For me, the value of independence traces back to my childhood and something as simple as wanting longer hair. Before eighth grade, I was lucky if I could feel my hair on my shoulders or even tie my hair up. My mother was the “dictator” who decided how my hair was to be cut and despite my protests, my hair mostly winded up similar to a “bowl cut” or Chen Ruolin’s (the female diver who won gold in the women’s 10m platform and women’s 10m synchro platform of the 2012 Olympics). That all changed one day when my mother’s mother (my grandmother) went out with us for my haircut. As usual, I started my usual protests even before the hairdresser started cutting my hair. What made this time different was that I broke down in tears by the end when I saw my reflection in the mirror. My mother was furious, of course, but my grandmother was sympathetic and argued that at my age, I should be able to decide what I want my hair to look like. Thinking of this incident reminds me of a point that my yoga teacher made last year, “You aren’t heard until there are tears.”
To me, my haircut symbolizes something more than part of my appearance, since children learn at an early age that there are gender differences. Without long hair, I felt like I did not belong when I was working in groups with other girls throughout the school day. Imagine you were little again, drawing stick figures, one of a girl and another of a boy. What usually differentiates the gender of the stick figures are the body figure and the hair. Those are basically the thoughts that crossed my mind although they may not necessarily be true for every individual — of course there are boys with long hair and girls with short hair today.
Independence also played a role in my sadness after receiving an invitation into the Baruch Scholars program with free tuition. Normally, you would think that receiving such a letter would make a high school senior overjoyed. Naturally, I actually was cheerful at first. Afterthoughts then took over; I felt that with this letter, I would have no voice in the decision of which college I would attend, between Baruch College, Hunter College, Queens College and Stony Brook University. Money motives appeal to a vast majority of the population and my parents are definitely included in that majority. It wasn’t that I wanted to pass on the opportunity; it was that I wanted the chance to say that Baruch was where I wanted to go. Looking back at the experience, I now realize that the thoughts were extremely selfish but I felt that it was something I needed to do.
Today, it feels like years have passed since the day when I first received the Baruch Scholars invitation instead of months. Now, the early weeks of the first semester are already over and I still worry over getting to school on time and doing my best in every class. I have never been able to manage my time properly and by the end of college, I expect to be able to change this. For the first semester, I have already set aside my goal to join the archery club and make sure I can finish all of my required assignments. Later on, I hope to join the club as well as take some classes that high schools or junior high schools may not have offered. One of the functions of attending college is to continue one’s education and I hope to do just this.
Posted in Journals
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