What just happened. Where am I. Who am I. What am I doing here. When is my next test. I had an essay due today?

My first semester of college… I don’t even know what to say. I’m writing this in the wee hours of my 18th birthday and I look back on how I came in- scared, wanting to go home to my mom, yet excited to be a straight-A student.  Nothing much has changed. Oh, except I’m far from a straight-A student. And I only have $0.89 left in my bank account. I’m still not quite sure what I’m doing here. I hate business but I’m hoping that will change next semester. I’ve decided to change my minor from Mandarin to French, which I’m happy about. I’m awful with keeping up with work. I wish I cared more! I just don’t I don’t care about business. I want to be a starving artist but I’m too scared of starving. But as a great man once wrote, “Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.” That’s what I’m counting on. I want my sun to rise. Maybe it has, and I’m just staring in the opposite direction. When I try to turn and face the light, I realize that even though I’m studying something I hate just so that my parents don’t kick me out of the house and so that they love me, I’ve made some of my best friends in the world. I’ve gotten fitter. I’ve gotten opportunities. And I can do damn near everything with a microwave.