My name is Phillip and I shouldn’t have procrastinated but I guess it’s too late now… Now I will effectively portray myself in a formal and extremely mature fashion.

Approximately  2100 years ago, a wise Greek philosopher once said, “Ball is life”. I can’t say I disagree. When I was merely a toddler, I was given two toys to play with that symbolized my life paths: a calculator and a basketball. As tempting as the calculator was, I chose the basketball. Basketball allowed  me to bond with my brother and many others. In elementary school, I often played basketball by myself after school because I was on the larger side and was rather unfriendly. However, this all changed when a squad of local junior high school delinquents came to play with me daily. Some would call these kids “uneducated”. I wholeheartedly agree. Although these kids were arguably the worst students on the planet I bonded with them and was destined to join them and their shenanigans before my family moved away to Forest Hills. Basketball is now my most favorite hobby and is actually something I’m pretty good at *_*

Yeah I googled this pic but I felt like it reminded me of my younger self: a jiggly little basketball player. I remember I used to be able to eat nothing at all but then I traveled to China for 2 weeks. At the age of five, I didn’t really like any food but i really hated the food that I was provided in China. Every meal I would say, and I quote, “this food sucks balls”. I was also very vulgar because I watched too much tv lml. When I returned to the US, my father pitied my apathy towards food and cooked me fattening and just downright abominable (in terms of health, not taste) foods and I was so happy until I found out I was a real fatty. I used to play with my fat rolls every time I went to “excrete the natural essence of life” in the bathroom. However, being fat wasn’t THAT bad. I remember I made a friend named Ron and we bonded over the fact that we were both fat and it was SO lit. Elementary school was good because everyone basically had no prejudices yet. Swag

 

I used to read a lot of really groundbreaking and spiritually enriching books. Among these included: “Horton Hears a Who”, “The Cat in the Hat”, and even “The Little Engine That Could”. Not only did these books have pictures, they had words too! As I grew older and became even more enlightened, I upgraded my arsenal of literature to more intelligent pieces of work such as the “Cam Jansen” and the “Magic Tree House” series. Much of my literary skills were acquired from these timeless works of art. After I finished  the “Goosebumps” series I gave up on reading. I really don’t know why.

I like beaches!

Lamborghinis were a substantial part of my childhood because I would spend class time trying to sketch out different models and I always really wanted one. I also tend to draw anything that comes to mind when I’m bored. Literally anything, except nothing inappropriate, of course! Although the lamborghini is probably the definition of superficiality, I don’t mind because it looks sick.

For as long as I could remember, I was always a jokester, in class and beyond. I got bored frequently and I did whatever it took to bring me entertainment. I got a 1 on a 1-4 scale for conduct most of my elementary school years because I was just uncontrollable. In junior high school and high school, I always shouted nonsense and wrote irrelevant answers occasionally for tests and answers for the sake of making people laugh and it was honestly really really funny. Unfortunately, this resulted me in constant appointments with my guidance counselor and my deans. It was a sad time in my life 🙁

I love music, like any other human being. For this reason, I wear headphones literally everywhere I go because music just enhances life like how botox enhances the face. In high school, I often got in trouble for never taking my headphones off but honestly I never listened and this, along with my previous inability to be a proper student, made me well acquainted with my school faculty. Music pumps me up not only when I exercise but practically everywhere.

 

One time, I saw a jasmine flower. I looked at it and it looked back. I felt it talking to me and I couldn’t leave from it. It smelled OD nice and I loved it. It was my fave. Some may say I’ve run out of pictures to write about, but others say I’ve tapped into my inner romantic. Jasmine the flower then put on snapback and called me out to a rap battle to the death. I insisted that its life was much more valuable than mine, but nonetheless the flower had just finished watching the film “8 mile” starring Eminem and was inspired to replicate the fictional events. Trapped into a corner by its flower henchmen armed with sub machine guns, I had no choice but to retaliate with a challenge of 1v1 basketball money game. I won and took its money. It was sad, I was happy. The end.