There is really no person or image (or word really) that can describe me better than Waka Flocka Flame, semi-distressed, saying “Okay…” Not only do I feel spiritually attached to Mr. Flame (a different blog post for a different time), I feel in these gifs his facial expressions provide the discontent, unsure, kinda confused, overall strangely indifferent vibe I have about Baruch. Not to say I don’t like some of  the people here  (not bad for like 17k undergrad), but this school was not my first choice, and it is making me question if I should stay here or not. Where would I go? No idea, but I have to start making some big decisions soon. Sometimes when I’m confronted with them I’m just like… okay. Being at Baruch is okay, my classes are okay, the commute is okay, the food is okay, the club hours are the worst thing thats ever happened to me, the experience overall is just okay. Hate to be a downer, but this school is business oriented and that isn’t really what I’m looking to study. It’s just a matter of time before I figure out what I really want to do, and start moving towards my goals. They might just not be at Baruch. But, I’m not worried. I’ll be okay. Flocka.

I’ve never been able to dress right for the weather. I could look outside my window, check the Weather Channel app, or even ask my mom and I’d still end up unprepared/overprepared. I can still remember when I was an underclassman and I would have to sit on the bus with shorts or a dress on, and my thighs would scorch on the leather seats. Or, I’d ask my mom what it’s like outside, and she’d say, “bring a jacket”. Eleven times out of ten her brittle bones would exaggerate the temperature and I’d get stuck carrying my jacket around all day.

Now that I’m in college, I’m doing significantly worse. I’ll check the weather app, choose an outfit, walk outside and immediately regret it. It’s fall, so today seems like a nice day for a flannel and jeans. Wait, what? Fall in New York City can mean 73 degrees? And that it’s so hot that my glasses fog up from touching my skin? Okay, lesson learned.

Today I’ll wear a dress without tights, it’s been warm. Wait, what do you mean the weather app doesn’t account for wind? I’d like to formally apologize to everyone I flashed on the corner of 24^th and 3^rd   (seriously). Alright, I’ll try again. I’m afraid of sweating so today I’ll go for a short sleeve romper. Oh, it’s really only 60 degrees today? I promise I’m not a blue lipped corpse, I just don’t know how to dress myself yet. I guarantee in the dead of winter I will be buttoned up from head to toe, step outside, and be greeted to the warmest day of the year. I can never win with the weather. I’m either sweating or frozen, or perpetually embarrassing myself. I think my only solution is to just stay inside.

  <— me when I think it’ll be cold but it’s actually 80 degrees outside

Has anyone been reading these?

Anyway. I’ve been told I’m good with words, but the best part about music is that someone has written them for me, and they sound a lot better. I love listening to and playing music, so I decided to make a playlist. Ten songs for a playlist is practically criminal, but I tried my best to not only include some of my favorite songs now, but sort of an “evolutionary” list of songs I liked in middle school (say seventh grade)(some pretty terrible stuff, most of which I’ve omitted) through phases I’ve had, to stuff I like now.

1. “Poppin’ Champagne” by All Time Low (startin’ off terrible)

2. “Wolf Mountain” by Austin Gibbs

3. “Cosmic Love” by Florence and the Machine

4. “Sweet Disposition”  by The Temper Trap

5. “Hesher” by Wallpaper.

6. “Cry Cry Cry” by Joaquin Phoenix (Walk the Line soundtrack)

7. “Neon Cathedral” by Macklemore

8. “Happily” by One Direction 

9. “Not the Sun” by Brand New

10. “Fluorescent Adolescent” by Arctic Monkeys (a good song)