College students are usually working part time for extra cash or to pay for their classes, so money is pretty important. This meme addresses that aspect, and it’s hilarious.

I don’t find college to be any different from my high school. Actually, there is less work. But the escalators here work more often than the ones in my high school, so that’s great. I do like the fact that we can make our own schedules, start our classes later in the day, and have large gaps in between classes now because I am not a morning person. I’m just much happier when I can start the day later. I’m also glad that there are so many clubs and organizations within Baruch that you’re bound to find one  that you really like and belong in. There’s something going on everyday and events happening all the time. It made me realize that it’s incredibly easy to meet new people. No one’s going to tell you to go to events and nothing will happen if you don’t, but in the end, it’s all on you to make the most of what you have. I’ve been told that your life is what you make it and I’ve kept that in mind, but only now do I realize just how true it is. I have met some amazing people here and I feel that I’ve found my niche, which I am so grateful for. This semester really just flew by and it still feels like I’ve just stepped foot into Baruch when in reality, finals are coming up.  I hope everyone else had a great time too, and Baruch has topped the expectations I had for it back when I graduated high school.

There is really no person or image (or word really) that can describe me better than Waka Flocka Flame, semi-distressed, saying “Okay…” Not only do I feel spiritually attached to Mr. Flame (a different blog post for a different time), I feel in these gifs his facial expressions provide the discontent, unsure, kinda confused, overall strangely indifferent vibe I have about Baruch. Not to say I don’t like some of  the people here  (not bad for like 17k undergrad), but this school was not my first choice, and it is making me question if I should stay here or not. Where would I go? No idea, but I have to start making some big decisions soon. Sometimes when I’m confronted with them I’m just like… okay. Being at Baruch is okay, my classes are okay, the commute is okay, the food is okay, the club hours are the worst thing thats ever happened to me, the experience overall is just okay. Hate to be a downer, but this school is business oriented and that isn’t really what I’m looking to study. It’s just a matter of time before I figure out what I really want to do, and start moving towards my goals. They might just not be at Baruch. But, I’m not worried. I’ll be okay. Flocka.

Stressful. This would be the word I could use to describe my time at Baruch so far. College life is so different from high school and adjusting has been challenging. I have to wake up early to get to my classes on time, which means I have to sleep earlier so that I’m not drowsy the next day. Even if I manage to get in my hours of sleep, the classes are longer and harder to stay focused in, so I usually end up falling asleep. I can’t remember the last time I stayed awake for my entire sociology class. It’s just too boring. The professor basically goes over everything we read in the textbook in order to complete the online quizzes. Though these quizzes are pretty easy, I can’t say the same for the history quizzes. Though the professor usually gives us two hours to complete them, the tricky wording of the questions makes them more tedious to answer. We also have to stay on top of the reading of the primary source documents because of the random writing assignments from the professor for a significant portion of our grade. On top of this are the multi-page essays we have to write and the speeches we have to prepare, which I don’t feel that I’m getting better at. All these assignments are extremely time consuming and can, at times, begin to build up. I get little free time to relax and do what I want to. Hopefully I get used to the work load as I continue my life as a college student.

I chose this picture of Kevin Hart because his expression reveals how I feel most of the time. Although my experience at Baruch has been going well, I’m confused about something new every other second. There’s so much going on in school and in different classes that it’s hard to keep up. The teachers are my biggest source of confusion. One of my profesors barely knows how to speak english and when she tries to teach my brain becomes flustered trying to figure out her words, what they mean, and how they relate to class. Other classes can be so hard that I don’t even ask questions are pay attention becuase it’s pointless. Also the way the school is built confuses me everyday of my life. Why do elevators only stop at some floors it’s so weird? But besides all the confusion I do like school because my friends make it very fun and the social part is what I look forward to. There are some people that I am very happy I have met because I can’t imagine life without them, and also there are some professors that have influenced my life in a positive way. Some professors help teach you what will be beneficial in the real world, which is a big contrast to high school.

This step definitely brought forth numerous changes, as it is expected. It sometimes feels like it’s a race that others have started years ago and others just realized the mud they stepped in. I feel like I am in the middle. I have climbed up the few steps to reach this level and now I need to get my act together and do things right. That’s where the trouble comes in, I have to make choices. That is what my first semester in college has been like, filled with choices and sometimes feeling like there’s none at all.

Overwhelmed by the choices we have to make to choose a “career” path. Every little choice can affect the year I graduate, the time I have for a job or internship and the time I devote to family and friends. The lines can blur at times. Yet despite all this choices, more than ever I want to equip all the skills possible and go out there and make things happen. Of course, this is daunting and overwhelming.

One thing that has helped reduced this anxiety has been meeting people. People that are in the same situation, making friends has definitely helped me cope with all the things in my plate at the moment. This might not be my college dream experience but having good people around me has made me realize that part of college is accepting others and learning from others. I would have never just reached out and put myself out there but seeing others just mingle and share some laughs, makes me see the good in others. Of course, not all are in the same mindset but meeting those that are has been rewarding.

I feel that this is the most I can do at the moment and when opportunities present themselves, I will try my best to make the best choice. So college this past few months has flown by, time has ticked faster than I would’ve thought but I have tried to make the best out of it. Have I made all the right choices? Probably not. But I am trying to stay sane in this world of continual change and I will continue to learn, stay open-minded and work hard. At the end of the day, as much as I can worry about things in my life, worrying will not change anything. I’ve learned that it’s been better for me to focus on the things I currently have and use that to my advantage. It’s hard, as anything, but nothing worth doing is easy, so I guess I just need continue to figure out how to make all these things happen.

I chose this gif because it illustrates how stressed out and confused I was (and still am) during my first months at Baruch. The classes that I’m taking have been interesting and fun, but also tremendously stressful. I found myself with so much free time and yet, no time at all. So many deadlines…

I met a lot of smart, amazing people who knew what they wanted to do for the next four years… and it made me feel small in comparison because I don’t have a definite plan. I mean, I’ve thought about it. I just haven’t decided yet. There are so many different paths I could take and it would please my parents, but there’s only one specific path that can make me happy. Hopefully, I find it soon.

I have a lot of conflicting emotions about it.

So I summed it all up in a poem. Read at your own leisure (or don’t).

I’m stumbling down, down a rabbit hole.

Then I’m upright, having nowhere to go.

I know what I want, yet I have no clue.

I’m sleeping, I’m awake. It’s all old, but I’m new.

I’m staring at nothing. Nothing is staring back.

I’m gaining something, but there’s another thing I lack.

I travel down one road, then I turn back around.

I’m making it all up as I go. I’m serious, I’m a clown.

I talk, but I can barely speak.

I think I’m okay, but then, I freak.

My words are winning. My words are losing.

I got it all figured out and it’s still confusing.

But, then I breathe and I’m calm again.

No matter what happens, I’ll make it to the end.

To sum up my experience so far at Baruch I chose these pictures. Not that I’m depressed or anything but these pictures are pretty accurate. Really though if you happen to see me in class 9/10 one of these will be my facial expression. Baruch itself isn’t horrible, it’s the all the work. It seems like there’s never a break in between assignments or exams. I just want to breathe, you know? When it’s not an essay due it’s a speech (which gives me perpetual anxiety) or an online quiz. Have you read those chapters for history? They are long and super boring, it takes me a million and one years to finish reading a chapter. Like can I live? No one said it would be easy, but no one ever said it would be this hard (points to the people that can name this band and song). Despite all the sadness and tears Baruch had brought me something amazing; new friends. My new friends are my cinnamon apples (more points if you know where this is from) and they brighten up my days. I laugh till I cry and I cry till I laugh. Thanks for making my experience at Baruch that much better. Bye, hope you had fun come again. 🙂

If I had to choose one image to describe my first semester at Baruch this would be it. Now, don’t get me wrong, overall I’ve enjoyed my experience at Baruch. Since I entered the school with no expectations I have been pleasantly surprised by all the amazing people I have met. I have also been learning a lot from some of my great professors. But, no matter how good I’m feeling, I always seem to end my day with this exact facial expression. It’s a mixture of feelings that include sadness, stress, and “I don’t give a fudge I’ll just become a stripper or get a sugar daddy.” The combination of the workload, studying, exams, college making me broke and the stresses of life in general takes a toll on a person. I feel like I have no time to relax because everyday there’s a new list of things that I have to do. But I guess that’s college for you. I’m going try my hardest to enjoy every second of it and not try to rush my time in Baruch like I did in high school. Although the workload stresses me out, my amazing new friends make things a bit easier to bear and I’d rather make great memories with them then stress myself over things I can’t control.