Call me Benny. I am your average teenage New Yorker going through an average life in a first world country–at least thats what most people would believe. I like to believe that everyone has a story to tell, some less extraordinary than others, but from the privileged to the unfortunate, every man carries the weight of the world on his shoulders, at one point or another. My story is far from heroic or inspiring–given that my hardworking immigrant parents did all the suffering for me–but it is a story I want to tell. I was in the 12th grade, my final year of high school. I changed a lot during my high school years. The biggest change was the fact that I actually got a girlfriend my senior year. People probably look at me funny for saying that but I’m not good with women and,when I finally got into a relationship with a girl I liked,I felt like I was living in Emerson’s ideal world. But, it was more like Melville’s tragedies because it ended in a train wreck, like most stupid, young relationships. I was cheated on and she left me for her ex. This doesn’t seem like a big deal–almost everyone goes through something like this-but, for some strange reason, it was a big deal for me. It was the first time I felt real pain since the death of my grandpa back in middle school. I did not know how to cope with it and I felt emasculated, helpless. I also may or may not have cried in my room alone in the middle of the night with a bucket of ice cream but that is besides the point. The point is that when the weight of the world seems to be on your shoulders–the weight of your crappy job, weight of war, the weight of poverty, the weight of losing a loved one, the weight of heartbreak or the weight of webwork–you learn to embrace the weight and lift it. I learned that, like a gift covered in dog manure, “your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.  Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.” Khalil Gibran told me that. Out of suffering and hardships, a man becomes the strongest version of himself. So embrace the pain of the long journey ahead, and deal with it while you look towards achieving your “goals” someday. But, you’ll eventually realize that the journey itself was the goal all along.

Jessica Paszko
Inspired by Taylor Swift, Saturday Night Live, 2011

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IE_f4BRY4LU)

Hey my name is Jess and I’m from Staten Island but I’m not gonna talk about that in my monologue
I enjoy lattes and muffins in the morning but I’m not gonna talk about that in my monologue
I like country songs and cowboy boots but I’m not gonna mention that in my monologue

La la la
La la la

My favorite movie is called Mean Girls but I won’t talk about that in my monologue
I’ve only watched it one million times but I won’t say that in my monologue
Today is Wednesday so I hope you’re wearing pink if not then you can’t sit with us

La la la
La la la

I had five really close friends at my high school but I won’t mention them in my monologue
We were so close but then left for college
Now I’m really sad so I won’t talk about them in my monologue

Wah wah wah
Wah wah wah

Then I met some cool girls here at Baruch and I will talk about them in my monologue
We get daily bagels and they taste really yummy and I will say that in my monologue
We make funny faces and do silly things, they’re pretty awesome pals so I’ll mention them in my monologue

La la la
La la la

There’s nothing more to say
I’m just really swell
I hope you all enjoyed my freshman seminar monologue

A man once told me that anytime I slept, ate, spent time with friends, did anything outside of what my purpose is, that someone else was practicing, studying, getting better, and getting ahead.

Obviously I came to college with a purpose. This is my whole life.  Every fiber of my being belongs here, and anything less than complete devotion is sub-par.  It’s a shortcoming, a regret destined to reach fruition in future years.

I can trade the pleasures of college for success. You can keep the good times, you can party, you can drink, waste time.  You can keep that.  I’ll take the opportunities, I’ll take the grades, that thing that you didn’t give a second look because your time was occupied with nonsense.

And I can live with not being intelligent enough.  I can deal with trying my absolute best and not reaching my goals.  But I plan on outlet-ing my time to different sources, seeking a spark on whatever can make me money, make me successful, give me a future.

I accept that this world has so many problems, and that if I can hold the solution to just one, just one small problem, I can be successful.  I can make money, serve a purpose, make the world better than it was before I existed.  But its not a want, its a need, like the need for oxygen in  drowning lungs.  And this opportunity is a chance to reach the surface of the water.  Anyone who doubts my abilities and wants to bet against me will lose, because I cut the deck and deal the cards.  I need to make the most of this opportunity, the present is here now but gone soon.  Just like all of us.  So the question is, what notes will history take about you?

College is a school that offers courses leading to a degree however, it is much more than that. College is a time to be independent, a time for exploration, a time to grow up, a time to discover myself and a time to figure out what I want to do with my future. However, this can all be stressful because along with trying to figure out who I am, there are assignments to be due, exams to be studied for, and clubs to be joined. Along with all of that, there are personal responsibilities to be taken care of as well. Time management is key and sometimes it can feel like there isn’t enough time to get things done. I just hope I can figure things out and get everything done without disappointing myself in the end.

I chose Eeyore as my self portrait because although he is known for having bad days, he can also be happy and have good days as well.

Two months. Only two months and we have to grow up; change within that two month in order to fit into the “real world.” Today felt different. I’ve already been here plenty of times over the summer, but this time was different. The hallways were alive; it was the first time I had to wait on a line just to get into the elevator. And everyone was so loud, as if they were all good buddies, but I guess the freshman will have to do that for themselves. Finally got my place in the elevator, made sure not to look anyone directly in the eye. Then I had to look for my room. The last time I looked for my classroom was four years ago! When I was a freshman at high school. Everything felt so similar, yet somehow unique, the atmosphere was off. I knew I wouldn’t be able to talk to every single person here and make connections with my fellow students like high school. That’s when I remembered this isn’t high school, it’s college.

I am helpless. I can’t do anything. I don’t know what to do. The college life is hard. So much work but so little time. So many essays and readings due. Im very sleepy but can’t go to bed until I finish this and that. During class I get hungry then cry when I spend money for food. There are many expenses that I don’t like, books, calculators, metro cards. I don’t even use most of the books I bought and the ones I use, I don’t understand it at all. But I will not give up. I will somehow try to work and study hard as a student and pray to God that I find a way to  pass all my classes with a good gpa.

I wonder how it’s possible that there are people out there who get everything they need to get done on time and in a timely fashion. Me being the serial procrastinator that I am, it’s a wonder to me that people can focus in such a manner. If I know that i have time to complete an assignment or a task (like chores) I don’t get started right away. Like who does that?!?!  No no no, see what I do is wait till the very last second and then stress out and rush through whatever it is I have to do in a 4 A.M. Red Bull Induced self hatred fueled writing extravaganza. Now if you’ll excuse me I have some work to do….right after I watch a couple of 4 hour Vine compilations on Youtube.

I’m the quiet girl that keeps to herself. I don’t like sharing my story – my life – with just anyone. I’ve been through a lot and lost many people who I’ve considered “friends” and was very close to. Now I’ve built a wall around myself; it’s my protection and my place of solitude.

I find it hard to give my trust out.. I believe it’s something that needs to be earned now. I used to trust so easily when I was a child,  but then I was faced with reality. This reality has changed my view on life greatly.

I no longer let just anyone into my life. I no longer let anyone but those who have been there from the beginning influence my life, my decisions and choices, and my point of view. And these choices will shape my path and my future.

It’s my life, my choices. Simple as that. I should be focusing on myself, and that is exactly what I will do to ensure that my future is just what I want it to be.

I chose a misty forest because it reminds me of a place of solitude (and because I liked how it looked.)

Adam Zaman Due 10/15/14 FRO MonologueThe Student

I am an et cetera

my life has been a plethora –

of experiences.

and with my senses

I have become a forever student:

a student to learning, I want to understand

a student on a journey, I want to explore,

a study to the world, I want to fit in.

And why am I a student?

Because with every passing moment is a different experience

and I learn from every experience

consciously, unconsciously,

its for that reason why I try to have different experiences

to go places

to broaden my horizons

to communicate

with the rest of the world

with the rest of the students.

i am so hungry. i am so tired. i am so thirsty. why did i have to wake up so early for class. i am going to go get a coffee. oh thank heaven for 7/11. i am still hungry. good thing i have my nature valley bar. mmmm. sweet and salty peanut.  thank you mom.

tsoi