This meme shows my college experience so far. At first I had a hard time adapting to college. Because I tried to study the way I did in highschool and it didn’t work out. Like the exams cover more materials than in highschool, some professor like sociology gives me vague guide line for book report and my speech class professor is really really really strict. When I got my first test grades I was so stressed out. However now I learned a lesson to adapt to college and how to study here. 🙂

This picture clearly reflects my experience at Baruch so far because it shows the struggles of being a freshman. It shows a boy who while getting so prepared for college to make a good impression ends up being a freshman disaster victim. I remember my first day holding up the line to come into the building because I was swiping my student card the wrong way or sitting in the wrong classroom because I couldn’t read the floor number of where my actual class was. Hopefully I’ve grown past that and won’t do any more embarrassing things that allow everyone in my vicinity to look at me, shake their heads and say “Oh such a freshman thing to do.” #freshmanstruggles

This picture is totally relevant to how I feel about Sociology.  Ever since the first day of class, I never liked the class. It’s so hard to understand her because of her accent. I could hardly read what she was writing on the board because it was messy. Worse enough, I didn’t even understand what I was writing down until I got the textbook. When it came to the book report, the syllabus was so vague on it. Like what am I suppose to do? And then the midterm, I would of so dropped the class if she gave us back the grades earlier. Now it’s too late 🙁 But overall my time at Baruch has been okay besides midterm week. I’ve met many different people and enjoyed the times I shared with them. The first three months at Baruch past really fast cause now the semester is almost over.

I think these diagrams sum up my college experience so far. I used to think it was a simple balance, or at least in high school it was. I got to see my friends everyday because we were in the same school day after day. School always ended at 2pm and although I had a job, I got plenty of sleep most nights. In college, it has not been that simple. I have made some great friends, but it’s still difficult to see one another outside of class. Also, I have to make time to see my other friends from high school. I’m in a long distance relationship now, which isn’t easy to handle mentally or physically, and I can’t devote nearly as much of my time as I want to into seeing him. I don’t have  a job right now, but I would like to have one. But then again, that would eliminate more time I already feel I don’t have. I feel the pressure to maintain good grades, but also join clubs and build up my resume. I go to sleep a lot later than I used to.Oh, and I have to remember to eat. It’s not that all of this responsibility scares me, but it brings back my anxiety that I’ve struggled with since I was little. However, I know this is college. I know this is part of growing up. And I know I will be able to balance it all as I continue to grow and adjust.

Chashumanman and Nyago

For the first three months of Baruch, I have been feeling more independent. During this time, I made new friends, tried new food, and spending my own time studying, playing, and sleeping. From the artwork that I posted, Nyago symbolizes a noob while Chashumanman symbolizes a safety net that will help him with anything.

I am a college freshmen which the freshmen seminar helps me with college life. When I came to Baruch, the campus is more diverse than my high school. The deadlines of my assignments are very tight that I had to rush to submit my assignments on time.

What is different from high school is that I can use my cellphone and my computer in the campus. The campus wifi is less strict that the wifi from the high school. I can use the internet for my private use. The offices are convenient to access for any inquires.

You know how every year you look back and realize how much has changed in one year? Then you try and pin point what moments have led you to the life you are living now. It’s crazy to think about, right? Because what if at one specific moment, things went differently? How would your life be like now?

Every year I look back into my life and my life always changes drastically. Always. Every year something drastic happens and changes my life forever. I’m never surprised anymore, but the one thing I love about myself is that I never let it destroy me. I have learned in my life that everybody has the decision to react to a situation in any way they like. I refuse to let anything or anybody bring me down. That’s why I smile and laugh a lot. It’s not to hide the pain. It’s to move on from it. It opens new opportunities to grow. It helps me be the person I am.

Being this type of person has helped me through the difficulties I am facing now. Working and going to school full time is not easy, especially as a freshman in college. I am just tired all the time. It feels as if there are not enough hours in the day to do all the things I have to do. I started to get use to it though. Things seemed to get better because I refused to mope about it and just smile about the little things. Then recently I got kicked out of my house because my mother gave me an ultimatum: either I break things off with my boyfriend or I get kicked out of my house. I chose my boyfriend because I wasn’t going to allow her dislike for African Americans to be the reason we didn’t work out. I’m not going to lie it was painful and stressful. It still is, but I finally realized that I’m done letting it affect me negatively. It’s a new opportunity to grow and become stronger as a person. One door closes, two doors open.

That is what I love about myself. I know how to make negative situations positive and stay happy. It’s what everyone should learn to do. Be happy for reason. That’s my motto.

Nicholas DiMarco

Monologue

January 31st, 2012… a day my family and I will never forget. 11 a.m starts the surgery. 11:30 a.m comes and it’s over. Confusion. Why did they stop? Diagnosis… cancer. The one word no one wants to hear.

A procedure to remove a tumor reveals a cancerous growth that would change her life. Shock. Fear. Anger. All these emotions were running through my mind. Why her? Why cancer? What is going to happen?

I had never felt so scared, so upset. My aunt was like a second mother to me… my best friend. When the doctor told her she had three months to live, I couldn’t speak. My family got together and thought of the only thing we could do for her… help.

The next day she was sent to Sloan Kettering in NYC to be with the best doctors. Test after test to find possible treatments to help her. The following week she was allowed home and would have to go to the doctors for her treatments: chemotherapy, radiation, any treatment to try and save her. I had never seen her look so strong, as if she was not afraid.

July 2012, three months past her life expectancy. The cancer was starting to really affect her. She was now sent to Sloan again. She would spend the following month and a half there. I spent so many days at Sloan that it began to almost feel like my second home. My family and I spent hours by her bedside keeping her in good spirits.

Towards the middle of August, she was sent home. She was going strong and doing well until the end of November. I remember her always complaining about pain she was feeling. Once December hit, it was a downward spiral. We all knew what was inevitably going to come, but didn’t want to believe it just yet. I remember going to her house to in the beginning of December to help her set up Christmas decorations like we always did each year. I always treasured her decorations because they were so classy and elegant. “You know when I am gone, these are all going to be yours right” she said. Hearing her say those words made my heart stop. “Lets hope thats not for a long, long time.” I replied.

January 22nd, 2013… another date my family and I will never forget. This was the day my aunt lost her battle to Stage 4 Uterine Cancer. I will never forget my mom’s facial expression or the tone of her voice that morning when she woke me to tell me the news. A sense of relief rushed through my mind knowing that she was finally out of pain, followed by a sense of anger and sadness knowing she was gone and never coming back.I have learned to deal with this tremendous loss by reminiscing on the good times she and I shared rather than dwelling on the year of sickness.

I now look back at this experience as a life lesson to me. Her life expectancy taught me how precious life is and to always enjoy every second of it. It also showed me how quickly life can change at any given moment. Even though the last year of her life was full of sickness, it will be a year I will always hold close to my heart for all the time I got to spend with her before she passed. As I start the next chapter in my life here at Baruch, I know that she will be with me every step of the way.

Afrida Hussain

Monologue

Growing Up

As I was looking at my 4 month old niece, I was jealous of her peaceful life. I thought how carefree her life is; no homework to do, no siblings to take care of, no cellphone bill to pay, and no monologue to write! Her only job is to eat and sleep, how lucky.

Last year I was sitting in Ihop with 3 of my friends and had a craving for macaroni and cheese, except the only problem was that it was in the kids section of the menu. That made no sense to me, how can they allow a certain age group to order a certain food? If I wanted macaroni and cheese, I was definitely getting it. When the waiter came to take our order and I told her I wanted the macaroni and cheese she looked at me as if I had 3 horns on my head, and my friends, of course, laughed at me. However, she wrote that down and I was able to leave Ihop happy because I got to eat my macaroni and cheese.

I was in line at Rye Playland about 3 years ago, waiting to ride the Choo Choo Train. When I finally arrived at the front of the line, I was told I could not ride the Choo Choo Train because I was too old for it.

So why am I telling you this? From these three experiences, I realized how much I hated the idea of growing up. Yes, we all physically grow and our appearance changes, but some of us don’t like changing internally or mentally. We do gain a lot from growing up like being able to drink, drive, getting a debit card, or a real job, however we also lose a lot too such as being able to order macaroni and cheese at Ihop or riding the Choo Choo Train without being looked at as if you’re crazy. There are just so many expectations that come with growing up. In other words if there was a way to stop all this growing up from happening, I would definitely try to stop it. It’s all just a trap!

I would say that I’m self-confident. I may be a little bit arrogant. Even a tad narcissistic too. But as I walk through the entrance of the college and move into the midst of bustling bodies, my confidence starts crumbling away. There are so many people looking spiffy in their business attire and there I am in my sweater and jeans. Feeling a bit self-conscious, I speed up towards my destination. It reminds me that it is the survival of the fittest here, and to succeed among thousands of students is a struggle. The people in business attire  look like they’ve already succeeded whereas I look like a mess. In a matter of years, some of them appear to have their lives together and are completely set for their careers.

It took some time for me to realize that they look like that because they’ve worked for it. They’ve spent a couple of years in this school and have worked to where they are now. Me? I’m just starting out. I’ll be like them in no time. But for now, I have to work towards my goal, to survive, to triumph, to accept past failures and learn from the struggles. To grieve and stay in the past is a mere nuisance;  it’s time to take a step forward.