Throughout my life, it has always been hard for me to find exactly where I belonged. I had troubled fitting in, and I went through a lot of different friends. My friend group constantly changed. I became friends with different types of people, all with unique personalities that varied from one another. These people kept entering my life and then leaving my life. It wasn’t that a problem occurred in the friendship or that a fight caused us to go our separate ways, but it was just that I always ended up drifting from a lot of these people. I never knew why this constantly happened to me. Drifting from people always bothered me because I’ve always cared about the relationships I have with the people in my life and I always tried to maintain them to the best of my ability. I guess it’s that people just naturally go their own way, doing what’s best for them. Most people don’t think and care about the relationships in their life as much as they care about their own success and advancement. I believe that people change your life more than most think they do. I know for a fact that the friends I made in my final years of high school, changed my life in more ways than anyone could ever imagine.
In my sophomore year, I decided to quit my dance team at my old studio and try out for a new team at a place completely unfamiliar to me. I went out on a limb. I didn’t know what this team would be like, how intense the dancing would be, or if I would get along with the people I would later on call my teammates. If I never took this chance, I can honestly say I don’t know who I would be at this very moment. The people that I met through this team are now my absolute best friends and I would not be able to picture my life without them. I’m not sure if these people actually changed me, or if they just brought out the real me that I’ve always been too insecure to be. I truly believe that having strong bonds with people can completely change your perspective on everything. By becoming so close to my teammates, I valued their opinions and views so deeply. How each of my friends looked at something, got me to think and question if what I believed was actually factual. Not only did my teammates open my eyes on certain subjects, they brought happiness into my life as well. There was never a dull moment when I was with my team. I enjoyed every second of rehearsal, even the 12 hour run-throughs before competition weekend. And if I didn’t spend enough time with these people, we were always hanging out when we weren’t at dance as well. Having a close bond with someone is honestly one of the best things in the world. I’m lucky to say I have that type of relationship with a whole group of incredible human beings.
“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” This quote has undoubtedly reflected my emotions over the past few weeks. The consequence for having such strong friendships is the pain one feels when having to say goodbye. It hurts me to know that everything my life has been is never going to be that way ever again. The ability to see the people I loved so deeply at any moment is gone. I couldn’t just go and pick up my friends after school or see them at dance in the afternoon. I now have to endure everyday without the people who made me who I am, and this will forever be the hardest thing I’ll ever have to do.
