Author: t.ruiz1

For those who may not know, I am an aspiring lawyer. I’m currently doing undergraduate here at Baruch, majoring in Political Science, before attending law school. After scheduling an appointment with the Pre-Law advisor here at Baruch, Tina Coco, I’ve been able to join the amazing Pre-Law Society we have here at Baruch.

Almost every week during club hours, the Pre-Law society holds various workshops for Pre-Law students to help assist them in their future. The first one I attended was of a law school panel of some of the most highly regarded law schools in the country. Law schools such as UPenn, Northwestern, UC Berkley, and Cornell.

It’s a bit intimidating being in front of these admission officers for these law schools with no doubt. After all, it’s like they are determining your fate. However, they were probably some of the most welcoming people you’ll ever meet. They were all lawyers themselves, so they were totally aware of how vigorous the school process can be. However, they were more than glad to speak about their schools and how to overcome these challenges. On top of that, us Pre-Law students were able to ask questions.

Although my top law schools are currently Harvard and Columbia, I was surprised to find the great characteristics of each of these law schools, which is now making me consider to apply in the future! UC Berkley has a policy in which they don’t rank their students at all, from this they have found to have found better work ethics since students aren’t so stressed about their rank. All these law schools offer many dual degree programs. For example, you can obtain a PhD while getting your Juris Doctorate. UPenn Law’s admission officer is a part time yoga instructor at the law school! I’m highly considering UPenn as well since I need some more yoga in my life. However, I’m excited to see where my future will take me. I’m a firm believer in things happening for a reason, so I can’t wait to see how my law career will play out!

My darkest hours are not what everyone makes them out to be

They aren’t dark to begin with, since they normally happen underneath the fluorescent lighting in a classroom

My state of mind fluctuates like tides rising and lowering

All to come crashing down when time has passed

My body aches as the blood running through my vein feels like needles

With every pulse I make, it plays as an empty picture runs through my mind

My heart pounds in between my ears as I’ve now fully entered an alternate world of hell

I’ll be okay, I’ll be okay, I’ll be Okay……I’m okay

The arms of anxiety swoops down and cradles me in the moments I least expect it

It indulges off of my littlest fears and thoughts so she can exploit me

She doesn’t let me eat, sleep, think, or move. I am lifeless.

She then pours my emotions down my throat and forces me to not speak a single word.

Then anxiety will pull back my hair from my ears and whisper every little mistake or worry I’ve had

I cannot help but to listen to her voice, I’m in envy of whatever she tells me. Her voice is like a clock that ticks in my mind which rewinds back to all of my memories

It’s an evil hypnosis she’s done. I recall my memories from the entire week, however she reiterates the little worries and mistakes I’ve done so far.

Tears drop to my lap as my eyes swell with the images of my pathetic self

I imagine my life without my condition

I think of a life id would’ve been able to fulfill without, a life I wouldn’t have missed out on from weeks in hospitals and hours in therapy sessions

My mother would no longer need to live through these my traumatic experience, my brother on the other hand wouldn’t have to ponder on the horrors in this world.

Spot all the red things in this room, I tell myself.

I breathe and slowly begin to try and take my mind off.

My fingers intertwine with one another as I count the sweaters, fire alarm, pencil, and shoes, as slowly as possible.

I was not born to deal with this, I tell myself.

I will not let my traumatic history define me. For I have conquered it all by being still alive today.

I will love my body till the end of time since this is the only body I’ll be able to live in.

I feel pain

But pain is only temporary.

**Note: For those who may be confused, I use the term Latinx instead of Latino since Latinx is gender-inclusive. The Spanish language is unfortunately structured sexist, but thankfully many members of the Latinx community use the term Latinx now.

Hey everyone! Hope you all enjoyed your long weekend. Latinx or Hispanic Heritage month is probably one of my favorite times of the year. It’s a time for fun cultural festivities, food, embracing our history, and most of all, being able to connect with the Latinx community. It’s also a great time to spread culture awareness about the Latinx community, especially now in the political climate of this country.

We really are so fortunate that we go to a school that promotes such amazing events for Latinx Heritage Month! For those of you who may not know, I’m originally from eastern Long Island. I grew up in a pretty dominant white neighborhood. Growing up I had a very hard time finding things part of my cultural identity, I barely knew anyone else who was Latinx apart from my family members and some people from school. The typical American lifestyle completely washed me away of my browness, the only times I really could be surrounded by my culture was when I visited my home countries.

College was something I always forward to, I wanted to be a part of school with an amazingly diverse campus. Ultimately, one of the reasons why I chose Baruch. Also, upon doing some research on Baruch my senior year, I found out there was the Latin American Student Organization or in short, LASO. I knew that I had to become involved, it would be such a great opportunity to embrace more of my Hispanic heritage. Along with that, meeting other Latinx people and enriching myself through the experience!

This past month, three other Latinas and I prepared to participate in Nuestra Belleza Latina. It’s an event at Baruch held every Hispanic Heritage Month that replicates an actual beauty pageant Nuestra Belleza, in which is exclusively for Latinas from different parts of Latin America to compete.

On October 3rd, the ladies and I represented our own individual countries in front of a panel of judges. The pageant consisted of three portions: talent, questionnaires, and evening wear. As a proud half Nicaraguan, I represented my country of Nicaragua, the largest country in Central America. For my talent, I played guitar while other girls danced, performed a poem in sign language, and even played Despacito on clarinet. We then answered questions pertaining to the Latin American community and our own self identities. I was asked things such as who was my number one latinx inspiration and how did I represent my culture on a everyday basis. Then came our evening wear in which the girls and I dressed in formal outfits, thus concluded the night.

However not only did the audience witness a pageant, we also had invited special guest performers as well. What kind of Latinx event doesn’t have a plethora of food, dancing, and music? Performances such as from the dance coordinator of LASO, Carla, who performed an amazing salsa routine to Celia Cruz’s “Quimbara”. After our questionnaire portion, I was able to go on the floor and dance some merengue with friends (despite the fact that they couldn’t dance, but they had a great time making fools of themselves).

It was an extraordinary night for the members of LASO as well as everyone else who came to watch. I think the best thing about participating in a pageant like this is the fact that all the contestants life myself showed a different aspect on what it was like to be Latina. Our community is so diverse, and we are often subjected to be a certain way by society. However, Nuestra Belleza proves that the beauty of the Latinx community is so diverse. Even as someone who hates being on stage, I had such an amazing time. Being able to celebrate my culture almost gives me a self of confidence. I was pretending to be someone I wasn’t, for once I could embrace my identity because my browness is what makes me beautiful and unique. I encourage you all to keep yourselves socially aware when it comes to any type of heritage or history month! We have such amazing clubs to offer such enriching opportunities. But since Latinx Heritage Month ends in a couple of days, I hope you all make the best out of these last few days and celebrate our culture with us.

Viva la Raza!

Hey everyone! These last couple of weeks have been super hectic for me. But fortunately this Sunday I had some time to myself and got to visit the Whitney Museum. I’ll admit it, I am a sucker for art. I haven’t been to the Whitney for some time, so I was excited to see the new installations and exhibits. Since I had no idea what was on display, I was in for a big surprise. I’m sure that many of you know about this iconic museum, however for a brief overview, The Whitney Museum was founded in 1931 by art patron Gertrude Vanderbilt Whitney (hence, the name).  It sits at the very end Manhattan’s High Line, making it a huge tourist attraction for anyone that visits. But aside from its’ great balcony views, the Whitney is filled with gems of history from artists around the world and their deep and enriching works. Even if modern art isn’t your taste, a place like the Whitney is a must-see for anyone stopping in the Meatpacking District.

So let’s start my journey! To be honest, I had absolutely no idea with floor to start on. So I’d thought I’d just work my way from the bottom to the top. Thankfully when I arrived to the Whitney, it was barely even crowded. The perfect opportunity to analyze art without masses of people.

I’ve always been a bit judgemental modern art and its’ scheme of making viewers over analyze it. Sometimes you find the most absolutely craziest things on display in museums. A blank canvas could be displayed in the MoMa but it would apparently have some deep background. I arrived to the 5th floor, entirely devoted to the work of a Brazilian artist named Helio Oiticica. Oiticica is one of the most notable artists of the 20th century for his style of which forces the viewer to engage with some of his works. I was absolutely mind boggled of the installations done by the Whitney for these pieces. I walked bare-feet in sand in order to examine his large-scale work called Eden. Eden takes you into a world where one can engage with your own senses. For example, small tents for relaxation, bins filled with books, palm trees everywhere, even a tent to bathe in. It  felt like I was in Lord of the Flies. I was trapped on island as I walked through the pieces, with no touch of reality. It gave me these euphoria of inner peace which truly achieved the main premise of this work.It makes you almost want to sit down and stay there forever.

Then I ventured off the other parts of the floor where I discovered even more simulations by Oiticica. I was lured into a room with a rhythmical drums that could be heard in the distance and a screening of traditional Samba dancers of Brazil. For those of you who might not know what Samba is, it’s a popular genre of Brazilian music with heavy African origin, most notable for its’ fast rhythmical beats. However in this installation, the viewer was encouraged to wear parangolés, or the traditional Samba fabrics worn by dancers. The word is slang in Brazilian for a confusing or aggravating situation. But Oiticica again encouraged the viewer to participate in wearing the garments. So of course, I took the opportunity.

 

In this case, these fabrics are meant to be a bit confusing for the viewer at first, hence the origin of the name. I noticed the variations of the fabrics, some had abstract words or symbols. After doing some research, I came to learn later on that these layers of the clothing could be only visible if the Samba dancer was dancing. Hence, it became an outlet for those to give subliminal political messages to audiences. Nice work, Brazil.

After that, I somehow ended up laying on a hammock in a pitch black room as Jimi Hendrix’s “Voodoo Chile” played in the background. I found that later on that Oiticica was a huge fan of Hendrix and much of the rock music from the 60s and 70s. It most notable had a big impact on his work in which he integrated the music into these large scale pieces. For what reason? I don’t even know. I highly doubt it was for any artistic reason, but for the fact that it’s really good music. However, I assumed that this type of music was used not just because of the time being, but since it was the pinnacle of avant-garde music, or in simpler terms, psychedelic. Musicians began to give a new sound to rock n’ roll by experimentation with instruments and a bunch other things that I don’t need to explain. That being said, perhaps the breakthrough of this new type of music seemed to resonate with Oiticica’s unusual artwork, therefore being the perfect thing to play in the background. Ultimately, It gave me nostalgia to an era I was never a part of.

Finally, I’m so excited to tell you about my favorite part of the exhibition, the Incomplete History of Protest. From 1940 to the present, the exhibition displays powerful work influenced by from various times of turmoil and political change. It makes you realize how powerful art is. People may not realize this but art is a universal thing that we can all interpret. Way back when it was common for people to be illiterate, art was the universal language so that anyone could understand it.  Who said you can’t make a political statement without words or actions?  So if you guys want to know a little more about me, I am very passionate about being politically active. I marched this past week in order to raise awareness for the DACA ban. In case you don’t know, Trump has pushed to revoke DACA or Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals, a program created during the Obama era to allow Dreamers who had entered this country illegally at a young age not threatened for deportation. As a Latina and daughter of immigrants, I’m very passionate about this issue, along with many others that affect my community. However, I like to consider myself an activist not for just my community, but as an inter sectional activist, for any person I believe deserves justice at large. That’s pretty much my whole liberal spiel.  As for the art I saw, I was able to embark on a journey of different civil rights movements. From feminism to the AIDS epidemic, I was able to see authentic work of artists bringing light to these issues through their pieces.

I felt like a little kid in a candy store except I was wandering and looking at all these political statements that were so important for their time. It’s quite empowering, to think that there was someone years ago trying to enforce change like what you’re doing now In this day and age with our ever-so polarizing country, I’m glad that exhibits like this one are shedding light to underlying issues in our country. Also, that we as a society can look back on our problematic history to make ourselves aware of our mistakes. And to hopefully not to make them again.

In short, I had a great time at the Whitney. It’s refreshing to do things on your own once in a while and to be able to admire the things that the human mind has given birth to. This was definitely the most fun I had visiting the Whitney, it makes me want to create a museum solely to interactive art because it’s truly so exciting. With that, I’m excited to read your posts and experiences! Thanks for reading, I’ll see you all soon!

-Tiana Ruiz