My first crush.
I have never been the kind to come out in the open and tell someone I like them or admire them. I always wait for the guy to be the first to tell me that they like me or ask me out. I don’t know why but I can just never make the first move. Anyways, my first experience at liking a guy was a complete failure because I could never get past him for nine years and nothing happened for nine years. People say that love is unexpected and come at anytime and any place. My version of love was puppy love back in 2002. I know I was such a little girl. I must have hardly known how to tie my shoe lace when the mention of my crush’s name caused my face to turn bright red. I really liked this cute, spiky haired, naughty boy. And I had no idea if he liked me too. During my first year of crushing on him all I had done was copy his multiplication homework (I was always so impressed that he knew the answers). The following year I had made a tremendous progress by seeing his Spider-man underwear while bending down to pick my pencil. By the third year I knew I really liked him because I would ask my grandparents (who were friends of his grandparents) to set up play dates between the two of us. Mischievous me. During the fourth year he called me for his birthday party and I threw such a fit because I did not know what to wear. Finally, I wore a red coat and I can honestly tell you that my face tone looked no different than my coat. Unfortunately, he left for a school in India in the fifth year. After that I never saw him for six years. But all that time even though I never saw him I would think of him and want to meet him. I could never get over him. Then, in 2011 I suddenly ran into him during a local rock band concert. I could not believe it. All my feelings started to resurface and this time it came out even stronger. We talked to each other for a while and he asked for my number. I was so thrilled at the idea of going out with him. So, on a Sunday we went for a walk. But something unusual, something I had not expected happened. All the time I was talking to him I realised that I did not like him at all. I felt nothing for him and I was shocked at the complete emptiness of feeling that now ran through me. It was not because he wasn’t nice or anything. In fact, he was so sweet. But somehow I did not feel anything. After I got home I realised just how stupid I had been all that time. I had held onto some kind of fragment of childhood crush for so long. I felt embarrassed then to think of how much I actually valued something that wasn’t really there. But now I know better than to waste time on feelings that don’t really exist. the kind to come out in the open and tell someone I like them or admire them. I always wait for the guy to be the first to tell me that they like me or ask me out. I don’t know why but I can just never make the first move. Anyways, my first experience at liking a guy was a complete failure because I could never get past him for nine years and nothing happened for nine years. People say that love is unexpected and come at anytime and any place. My version of love was puppy love back in 2002. I know I was such a little girl. I must have hardly known how to tie my shoe lace when the mention of my crush’s name caused my face to turn bright red. I really liked this cute, spiky haired, naughty boy. And I had no idea if he liked me too. During my first year of crushing on him all I had done was copy his multiplication homework (I was always so impressed that he knew the answers). The following year I had made a tremendous progress by seeing his Spider-man underwear while bending down to pick my pencil. By the third year I knew I really liked him because I would ask my grandparents (who were friends of his grandparents) to set up play dates between the two of us. I would also ask them to tell his grandparents that the two of us looked cute together. Mischievous me. During the fourth year he called me for his birthday party and I threw such a fit because I did not know what to wear. Finally, I wore a red coat and I can honestly tell you that my face tone looked no different than my coat. Unfortunately, he left for a school in India in the fifth year. After that I never saw him for six years. But all that time even though I never saw him I would think of him and want to meet him. I could never get over him. Then, in 2011 I suddenly ran into him during a local rock band concert. I could not believe it. All my feelings started to resurface and this time it came out even stronger. We talked to each other for a while and he asked for my number. I was so thrilled at the idea of going out with him. So, on a Sunday we went for a walk. But something unusual, something I had not expected happened. All the time I was talking to him I realised that I did not like him at all. I felt nothing for him and I was shocked at the complete emptiness of feeling that now ran through me. It was not because he wasn’t nice or anything. In fact, he was so sweet. But somehow I did not feel anything. After I got home I realised just how stupid I had been all that time. I had held onto some kind of fragment of childhood crush for so long. I felt embarrassed then to think of how much I actually valued something that wasn’t really there. But now I know better than to waste time on feelings that don’t really exist.
