http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOA7CklhEcI -Driving nails Demon Hunter
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLgPNilXHM4 Haunted Disturbed
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OhDK5BzDz34 My Own Hell Five Finger Death Punch
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9S9D5RRwQ8g-Isolation Alter Bridge
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LrBB_jq1hVE -Sound of Madness Shinedown
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnhQxZ_TFMU – It’s Not My Time 3 Doors Down
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETt65SA31-w- I Don’t Want To Be Gavin DeGraw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=erMHNNJoQtw Alive and Kicking- Nonpoint
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKV5HOVi0r4 On my Way Phil Collins
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqMsnd8cBEg World So Cold-12 Stones
Music, to me will always connect to the true “you”, the “you” that you may or may not keep locked inside. As such, this piece was very hard for me to do as I needed to accept that this was me, this was my story. Though looking back at the playlist, I know that these works truly speak the loudest about me.
From the songs “Driving Nails” by Demon Hunter through “My Own Hell” by Five Finger Death Punch, I wanted to express the internal conflict I have placed myself in when I was a child. What made these songs matter was the way they represented the pain was something self-made, not something brought by society. I felt that way for a long time, because I thought of myself as something not truly human. I always felt that I had a towering effect on people and a nature that was more beastly than human. Later in life, people tried more frantically to pull me out of that isolation, and that was when I had to make the decision on my own.
“Isolation” by Alter Bridge, offered me a question that I needed to ask myself. As I went deeper into my own conflict, all I ever wanted to do was push people away, though I knew that a part of me was still crying out for them. I had two choices that I had to make. Either give into the conflict, and stay isolated, or open my arms to the world around me and try to start again, understanding new lessons and relearning emotions that I buried inside. What made me choose the path of embracing others was during the time of my 11th grade summer internship. During that time I felt that I was a person that people truly cared for and mattered.
From “Its not my Time” 3 Doors Down, to “On My Way” by Phil Collins, I wanted to express the change I had to do internally. What I feel listening to these songs was the idea that I needed to grow. Although I have many different songs that demonstrate a sign of rebellion and fight, I felt that the whole point of my growth is not truly fighting back against anything, but to move on from myself. I know that there are people who truly wanted to see me succeed, and I wanted to change my life for them.
The last song “World So Cold” by 12 Stones, is the reflection of my coming of age, but more importantly, what the world faces. There are people out there who face the same problems that I did and chose the same solution. Their choice of isolation will only lead them deeper into conflict, and as a result, deeper into despair. I want to be there for people, as much as I can, because I know the place that they are in now, is the place I was once in.
