TRACK 1: “You’re listening to the second episode of What We Do To… and by now you should know what this podcast is about. If you didn’t get the hint, I’ll explain. It’s about what we do to survive, how the struggles in life push us to accept certain jobs, or why we look for gigs for the fun of it. We want to hear stories that are about crazy experiences at the work place and how these experiences shape us a people and how we view society.
In today’s episode, I’m talking to Christian. A 39-year-old who was born in Bakersfield, California. A small town located in the north part of Los Angeles. Cristian has been working as a cook for years, bartending, server, bus boy, manager, he has done it all in the service industry. And as Cristian describes himself, he has been having fun most of his life. At the age of 20 he moved to LA, and for the past 20 years he has been finding himself in big cities, moving back and forth between LA and NY.
Cristian has crazy experiences regarding the Hollywood life, and he has some crazy characters that he came across to.”
TRACK 2: “So, have you ever done any weird gigs?”
CHRIS: “Yes, as a matter of fact I have. I had a friend who owned a strip company, like, called Crazy Like Fucks, and one time he asked me if I would do a Bachelorette party for him. I was 18 at the time, I go “yeah, of course, why not?” who wouldn’t? I was a skinny little tiny white boy, you know what I mean? You know what I mean? Being polled legs, and no rhythm and the house I went to, it was in a rather undesirable neighborhood, but it was a little bit more fun I guess. I took a couple shots of whiskey, smoked a little rocky tabaqui and next thing you know I’m dancing for a bunch of old housewives. Well, the place, where the dancing was in a town called Oildale, California, which is the armpit of the world. It’s white trash guetto, and the ladies there were a little bit more mainly than me, but still interested in men. The amount of teeth between them, probably didn’t equate the ones I had in my own head, so it was a little bit more, you know, upscale if you will. Danced with them all that night, I met two ladies that were friends, met two friends that were moms at the party, I ended up exchanging phone number with them and for the next couple months enjoyed a very fun time with two friends at the party. It was very wonderful.
TRACK 3: “So what else have you done that you’d call peculiar.”
CHRIS: “Peculiar? Well, I transported…”
VIC: “Oh my god, I don’t think I wanna hear anything illegal.”
CHIRS: “A product from Los Angeles to Bakersfield quite a few times, nothing, nothing dangerous, but you know, it was just one or two times, you know what I mean, we were young, young, fun, doing things that were interesting, you know?! We changed jobs quite a few times, so, everything’s been fun. It’s been enjoyable, life’s experiences.”
VIC: “Tell me a little bit about the party you met Big, maybe that’s something we should talk about! Something interesting”
CHRIS: “So, yeah, I was running a café in Los Angeles, with, at the time, I was the baker chef and front of the house man which I ran the whole thing, the owner was a good friend of mine, I’ve been working there about three years by this point. And Mr. Big, who lived right up the street from us, cause he was in Sherman Oaks, California, which all the actors were at the Universal Studios, and all that fun stuff is, his wife came in all the time, and he came in, he was doing, his 50thbirthday party, and he asked us to cater it, so we went up there and catered his party. Really nice little house, awesome swimming pool, outdoor barbecue, we were there, you know, before the party, starting, you know, meeting his wife, we had a good time, everyone just laughing, joking, really good time, you know, he’s a really nice guy, interesting, wife had just had a baby, so she was, you know what I mean, in that great mother glow, it was a fun time. Met a lot of fun people in my life. And here I met, in New York, I met Uma Thurman, Jennifer Aniston, LA, a couple years back, I was working on the same café, Ben Stiller came in and it was right before the Oscars, I believe it was the Oscars, when Avatar came out, and he was sitting there, I made him lunch, we sat down, and we befriended each other a couple times, you know what I mean, because we’ve known each other for a couple years, him coming in and out, and he was telling me that, I was asking him if he was ready for the night, you know, Oscar night, he’s like “yeah, you now, they’re making me…” he goes, and he’s sitting there eating a salad, we’re talking, no one’s in the café, and he goes “they’re making me dress up like a god damn Avatar tonight. And you know what I mean, he goes, but he’s Ben Stiller, and the next thing you know, later that night, I’m watching it, there he comes out on the stage dressed up like an Avatar, smiling and stuff like that, so it’s kinda funny, but yeah, it’s been an interesting time. You know, now I’m working in, like a said, I was working in this little bar in Harrison now, and just enjoying my life.
VIC: “And how would you say is the transition from doing these crazy events and working at the bar that you are now?”
CHRIS: “It’s crazy, it’s just on a different scale, still the same. Like the other night, we had a private party and they pulled out a bottle of Louis XIII, a 3-4 thousand-dollar bottle of Remy Martin, start giving out shots, you know what I mean, it’s like we have guys in here dressed in, well, you would consider, a mafia style outfit, but also guys that are dressed in, one dude had boxers and white socks on, like Robert DeNiro, in Casino, you know what I mean, so last year when I first started working here, it’s snowing outside, and there’s a girl in chaps, and her butt cheeks hanging out, telling me to hug her like a man. You know what I mean, I’m like “oh, okay” you know what I mean, so, it doesn’t change, you know what I mean, maybe the certain calibers, but in this industry which I’ve learned from serving in Bakersfield with Buck Owens, country singer, in Bakersfield that I grew up with serving him at his table to Los Angeles, Ben Stiller, Bobby Brown, I was right next to Doctor Dre’s record one studio, he’d come in, you know what I mean, and to NY, it’s all the same, it’s just where you are, the time, you meet, really meet people. It’s a fun industry, I love it cause it’s never changing, always changing.”
VIC: “What are your aspirations in life?”
CHRIS: “To enjoy myself, that’s about it. Hopefully, I have a couple friends, one’s gonna be here later tonight, two of them actually, they want to invest in the bar and I’ve done bartending or cooking, so either way, either being a chef in the city, or owning my own bar, hopefully one day.”
VIC: “See you next time!”