In Freud’s “Family Romances”, he discusses that connection between a child and their family, as well as the child’s search for individuality as they grow older. The child begins their life knowing its parents as a source of knowledge, protection and authority. Parents are the source by which a child begins to understand the world. One of the first conflicts arises from being exposed to other parents and authority figures, to which the child will begin to act critical of their own parents. This makes sense, since the child held their parents in such knowledgeable and authoritative esteem, that any outside influence which can prove otherwise will create a mental conflict. Later in life the child may indulge in daydreams in which the child is either independent from the parents, or given a new and better set of parents. This is a way for the child to imagine greater agency or independence from their parents.
Freud then began to discuss the sexual stage that children go through, where they begin to learn more about a mother’s and father’s role in traditional relationships and then imagine erotic situations with their parental figure. I think that Freud is referring to fantasizing about the roles in which each parent plays rather than the parent themselves. So not the mother herself, but rather a carbon copy which serves to represent the role of the mother in a relationship. These imaginations can also give the child a way to explore their family relations. They could imagine themselves as an only child, or a child in a different family situation. Although these fantasies may seem mean, it’s really just a way for the child to work out thoughts and feelings. This contributes to the child’s individuality as it allows them to explore their own thoughts and their own feelings. The main basis of conflict present for this child first comes from the child admiring their parent, but having to acknowledge that their parent is not perfect. The second form of conflict comes from the child trying to figure out themselves in relation to their siblings and their parents. The rest of the child’s actions and fantasies are meant to help explore those conflicts.