While this article succeeds in emphasizing the importance of talking about the issues, it fails to address the importance of proving that a candidate has an actual track record of fighting for these issues, and thus can disillusion NY democratic voters looking for someone they can trust.
I will approach this essay by discussing the manner in which this entire argument was conceived. I think it is a fair to say that the democratic candidates aren’t focused enough on super specific issues and that the debates could possibly benefit from a stronger focus on the issues. But the fact of the matter is that talking about issues and issues alone doesn’t make Americans, and more specifically NY democrats, sleep any better at night. The reason being is that anyone can make promises and push policies on certain issues, but not everyone has a proven track record of actually sticking to their word and not faltering when it comes to consistency. To be blunt this article is try to convince people to forget about Hilary Clintons past, and to convince us to believe and trust her in the name of “the issues” but it makes many logical fallacies.
This looks good, Max. Your focus is the effectiveness of the article in reaching a specific demographic (it looks like NY voters) and that’s exactly what it should be. Make sure you do hone the demographic to be a specific group, and if possible try to make this even more specific, as NY voters is a rather large demographic. Remember, too, that your entire essay needs to address how well the article reaches, or doesn’t reach, it’s inteneded demographic.
I think both your thesis and your plan for the essay seem pretty good as you focus on how the article seems to make a poor argument overall. You should focus more on what exactly the article does wrong in the actual article rather then on the issues it is talking about and if this makes it ineffective in reach its target demographic. Also you can talk about if the article does anything right. Overall a good article and topic to choose.