English 2100 Daniel Sharabi

post 12

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             The provided thesis statement makes clear claims based on the evidence provided  in the discussion.  To some extent however, some paragraphs in the essay do not reveal direct connection to the thesis statement. The latter noted ideology is evident in the essays color distribution.  Even though all paragraphs have a clear topic sentence, the last three paragraphs do not connect their arguments to the provided thesis statement.  Irrespective of the latter short coming, facts presented in the last three paragraphs display an indirect connection to the presented thesis.  The major problem in my essay arises from the presented thesis statement because it has limited the discussion to discuss how cheap availability of academic information had fueled plagiarism. Bearing in mind that the last three paragraphs do not connect with the thesis statement, the most effective way to improve my essay is to restrict the thesis statement.  Instead of reading “cheap availability of information over the internet has played a vibrant role in advancing plagiarism,” the revised thesis statement should read, “cheap availability of academic information on the internet enhance plagiarism which in turn exposes students to adverse impacts, however, students can combat plagiarism through embracing different strategies.