This will likely be our last module page on a new style concept (we will do some review in the next Learning Module or the one after that).
This can be an important one to think about, especially for those of you who have mentioned wanting to improve the “flow” of your writing.
Sentence coherence can best be thought of as ways in which you can position your sentences in ways where a reader can quickly understand why one sentence follows another. One of the best ways to think about coherence is the given/new principle in writing.
Generally speaking, the opening of a sentence (‘given’) contains information that the reader already knows and the ending of a sentence (‘new’) contains new information. The ‘given’ information is based on one of two sources:
- Something that was referred to in the previous sentence or earlier in the passage.
- Something that is common knowledge or transition words that signal reference (explicit or implicit—as in, inserting common knowledge at beginning that wasn’t mentioned yet, having a sentence of only new information because the new information implies the old/common knowledge, or a transition marker that refers back)
Here are some examples from chapter 4 of the professional writing textbook Business Writing is for Everyone:
It is easy to let your sentences become cluttered with words that do not add value to your message. Improve cluttered sentences [GIVEN] by eliminating repetitive ideas, removing repeated words, and editing to eliminate unnecessary words [NEW].
You should be especially careful when writing about groups of people in a way that might reinforce stereotypes. For example, [GIVEN; offers inference that example will illustrate point in last sentence] implied in his book Elements of Indigenous Style, Gregory Younging discusses how subtle bias can have a big impact when non-Indigenous people write about First Nations, Metis and Inuit people [NEW].
If you are a writer that frequently gets comments on papers that your writing is “clunky” or hard to follow, this can be one fairly easy method to improve the readability for your reading.
Task
Comment below with the following:
- Paste two consecutive sentences from a previous piece of your writing that you feel is really cohesive. Insert “given” and “new” like I do above in the examples I provided.
- Explain what you think really helps with the cohesion and comment a little bit about whether it could be improved or if you have noticed general areas you want to work on at all in terms of readability in your writing.
After commenting, click the button below to continue.
1) One thing always stood out when she would give me these lectures though: “how can you call yourself Chinese when you can barely speak Chinese?” she would ask me in frustration in Cantonese. I would ponder on that question [given] since I grew up with celebrating Chinese New Year and other Chinese holidays such as the Ching Ming Festival, eating Chinese cuisine at home and rice almost every day, and my ancestry as a Chinese person according to my parents and AncestryDNA results [new].
2) The limitation of repetition going from sentence to sentence helps with cohesion by introducing one idea from one sentence to another rather than being stuck on the same thought moving between sentences. It’s better to add on to the first sentence by using punctuation marks to keep the idea within the same region rather than splitting it up into two sentences which lowers cohesion.
1. The theory behind writing as an artform is that although we are limited to symbols as a vehicle of communication, we can transcend the boundaries of these symbols by writing skillfully and strategically. Additionally, if a writer is skillful enough[GIVEN], their writing can express the deepest emotions that would otherwise only be conveyable through mediums that are more expressive like ones that are audible or visual[NEW].
2. I like how these sentences go from making a specific argument about artistic writing to addressing the specific extent to which the argument is true by giving an example of what good writing is capable of doing.
1.Many people who have seen “Spirited Away” [given]agree that it is a film about the coming of age of the protagonist, which is Chihiro. While that is true, the film introduces many ideas through its symbolic use of characters and ideas throughout the film[new].
2. I have notice that good cohesion connects evidence to statements. From reading through this sections, I notice that my writing needs more work. As I reread my draft, it feels like there are parts where I am just as confuse as the readers.
So, learning Albanian as a first language definitely impacted me in a positive
way because I received extra help on the English language[given], and this helped me understand reading and writing. Strategies that I’ve learned during ESL I still use to this day such as planning before writing. [new]
2. I noticed how from explaining from how something specific impacted me and after explaining why it impacted me in a positive way and what I learned from it.
1. As an Asian American, I grew up speaking English at school and Cantonese at home, therefore I am bilingual.[Given} Speaking Chinese is the way I communicate with my family, relatives, and some friends.[New]
2. By stating several ideas that support the same point or main idea would help your writing stick together without the ideas going all over the place in which may confuse the reader.
1. I have come a long way from learning about language, reading, and writing since I was a child, the way I talked to people is completely different from before.[Given] I was always be very timid when talking to other people, especially when speaking Spanish, for example I a mistake that I would make was mispronouncing words a lot and this made me feel really bad about myself.[New]
For as long as I could remember, the rush of excitement I had for my favorite cartoon programs fueled my energy when it was time to walk home from middle school. It cleared my mind after a long day of doing classwork. [given] Believe it or not, my favorite cartoon program was SpongeBob Squarepants, an animated comedy created in 1999 by Stephen Hillenburg. [new]