As kids, life was simple. We thought we knew everything and lived according to that belief. It’s what gave us the ignorant confidence to address things with no filter. It’s what allowed us to speak our truths, regardless of its accuracy or its impact on other people, before carrying on with our days nonchalantly. We lived in our own worlds, by our own rules. Everything was fine as long as we were. As we mature, people either started understanding the impacts of their words and grew kinder, or internalized them and became the ones acting recklessly. Due to these tendencies, looking back now, we know that many of the things we’ve said was inappropriate and things we would not stand for today.
One of the strongest examples of this is displayed in the book Wonder by R.J. Palacio. This book was a classic, often an assigned reading book in middle school and even high school English courses. This book explores the ruthlessness of children, the importance of kindness and determination, and the ruin that comes with a lack of repentance. In this book, we follow a young August who tries to make his way through the fifth grade in his first year of public schooling while having been born with facial deformities. With how kids act, it’s no surprise that August had a difficult time around others. However, despite all the difficulties, he maintains a strong spirit and does the best he can to live a normal life. Being able to maintain such a strong spirit while facing that treatment, was certainly an inspirational feat that I wanted to have.
“Here’s what I think: the only reason I’m not ordinary is that no one else sees me that way.” says August. Throughout my life, I had always been shorter than the average kid my age, which was a trait that many social groups deemed something to make fun of. Like August, I had also noticed the stares people would give, especially in middle school. Whispers and thoughts of “How old is this kid? Is he lost?” could be heard and seen based off their not-so-subtle stares. As a kid, this had always affected me pretty emotionally, leading me to spread that negative energy to others, even if they hadn’t meant to. Regardless of what had happened to me, it had never occurred to me by deflecting that energy to others, I was just as bad as the people who were making fun of my height.
It wasn’t until the 7th grade that I had picked up the book Wonder. As I read the book, I had empathized strongly with August, and was quite astonished to read that despite the treatment he had received, he had rarely made attempts to get back at his peers. We basically had the same resources and faced the same treatment, but August was able to go on without going off on others. While he did have to suffer on the inside and at home, it didn’t take a genius to realize the amount of strength he had to be able to remain kind to others throughout the day. “If every person in this room made it a rule that wherever you are, whenever you can, you will try to act a little kinder than is necessary – the world really would be a better place.” says Mr. Tuchman, August’s teacher. By going off this piece of advice, August had made the world a kinder place than it was before, even if he wasn’t always getting the same kindness back.
Despite receiving worse treatment than I did, his maintenance of his strong spirit and his refusal to respond with negativity was eye opening. “Its not a contest about whose days suck the most. The point is we all have to put up with the bad days.”, August’s mother says. Upon hearing these words, it had given me an opportunity to reflect on the way I had been handling my bad days. Even in the 6th grade, a time when we were supposed to start maturing, I had realized I was still living in my own world. August on the other hand, who was still in fifth grade had already realized the world was bigger than himself. This realization had allowed him to continue being kind and empathetic, even through the bad days. I, on the other hand was still too focused on my bad days and hadn’t taken into account that people might’ve been treating others badly for the same reason I did; they were probably going through issues of their own as well.
Once this realization had settled in, it had been somewhat of an overwhelming process. How do I handle these bad days better? What will being kind to others do for me? Will I start getting treated better? It was around this time that I had stumbled upon the film The Greatest Showman, directed by Michael Gracey. In this film, we follow PT. Bernum, a visionary with dreams of being a showman, start a circus where he has various extraordinary people perform dances and songs. In the beginning, we’re exposed to the horrible treatment that these extraordinary people were subject to prior to joining the circus. However, despite this treatment, they still maintain respect for others and let their emotions out in the acts they perform, giving the shows a sense of passion, which drew people in to watch them.
“When you’re careless with other people, you bring ruin upon yourself.”, says Jenny, a singer who performed under Bernum for a time. This quote was sort of a wake up call, urging me to reflect on the type of person I had been. In the movie, Bernum had abandoned the extraordinary people who performed under him in pursuits of greater financial opportunities, which ended up costing him everything. From the same angle, my carelessness from acting out while in my own world, had made me a bitter, angry person, a perfect target for people who enjoyed making fun of others. Had I not let their words get to me, or had I just not reacted, they would’ve left me alone, and I would’ve been just fine. With this in mind, I decided to stop giving away the reactions these people wanted.
While the reactions had subsided, there was still the issue of how I would handle the mockery I was facing. When Bernum had abandoned his performers, they were alone again, leaving them vulnerable to the treatment they were subject to prior to the circus. However, things were different, now that they had each other to rely on. With this bond, they were able to persevere and go back to performing with confidence. “You don’t need everyone to love you, just a few good people.”, says Charity, Bernum’s wife. While these words weren’t directed at the performers, they displayed this message perfectly in their perseverance through each other.
Having lived in my own world for so long, with nothing but the words other people spoke of me, I had unintentionally shut out the solution to this problem; the supporting friends and family around me. They had always been there, but because I was so centered on myself, it was easy for me to break and have nothing to hold on to. Seeing the uplifting smiles the performers gave each other during their performance despite the ridicule, was the hint I needed to come across this solution. In the same way August had his teachers, friends, and parents looking out for him, the performers all looked out for each other, giving them the strength and confidence they needed to go on with their lives.
Going through life not knowing so much but thinking I knew it all was such a burden, inhibiting my ability to learn, and reach out to others. In reading the book Wonder, my eyes had been opened to a world that wasn’t just mine, but one that belonged to everyone around me. Through The Greatest Showman, I was introduced to the power that comes with letting the people I cared about into my world, so that should I come across any obstacles in life, I’d have a support system right behind me, ensuring me that I wasn’t alone in my battles. Without having seen these works of literature, I probably would’ve come across these realizations later on, but thanks to their influence, I was finally able to acknowledge a life bigger than myself.