The Underground Man, the story’s narrator and his own worst critic, describes himself as a spiteful, proud, ill, and envious man. Yet, he later rebuffs that statement and says he was lying signaling the readers that they are faced with an unreliable narrator. There is no telling if what he says next will have any truth to it. Nevertheless, he continues his monologue, in a manner that sounds like a train-of-thought process voicing his opinions seeking the reader’s approval and understanding, even though he repeatedly states that he doesn’t care. His constant use of the word Gentlemen, is to continually hold the attention of the audience and appeal to them. At the age of 40 he doesn’t feel like a fulfilled person, especially when he compares himself to a man that wasn’t born from the bosom of nature, but was made from a laboratory test tube (p 640). He blames this loss of oneself on many things, but always comes back to ultimately blaming himself. The acute consciousness he refers to stops him from doing many things he believes a normal person would do. His memories from boyhood are summarized as “…no one was like me, and I wasn’t like anyone else.” (p 659) posing the question if, at 40 and still having the same outlook, he was unable to transition into a more mature individual and let go of his childish behavior.
His view on pleasure, although at first may seem slightly disturbing, describes a larger scope of human essence where not everything is ideal and pure, “…the pleasure resulted precisely from the overly acute consciousness of one’s own humiliation; from the feeling that one had reached the limit; that it was disgusting, but couldn’t be otherwise; you had no other choice – you could never become a different person; and that even there were still time and faith enough for you to change into something else, most likely you wouldn’t even want to change , and if you did, you wouldn’t have done anything, perhaps because there really was nothing for you to change into” (p 638). Dostoevsky’s exploration of the human psyche hits head on, describing a new type of generation. The generation that is tired of the ideas of Enlightenment, as the narrator speaks on his distaste for the laws of nature (p 641), and no longer taken with the ideas of Romanticism, where the narrator calls them stupid and often ridicules the “beautiful and sublime”. The question though still remains if this narrator really reflects any particular person, if he reflects humanity as a whole, or if a person like that is entirely fictitious. Notes from Underground is an early work of existentialism, where this dark side of humanity is exposed raw questioning the readers to consider if they share any similar qualities with the narrator. This unrestrained and realistic outlook on human thoughts presents a man in a limbo of existence, afraid to be seen but at the same time afraid to be forgotten, hating himself yet unwilling to change, feeling lonely and isolated but never escaping the social world. Are we the Underground Man? Or are we pretending that we’re not?