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The time(s) I got embarrassed:
I’ve always hated it when people commented on the way I spoke Chinese. It’s because of their comments that I’ve grown to be embarrassed of using the language. Sometimes I would even feel ashamed because I couldn’t speak the language properly. My poor use of Chinese is due to the fact that I speak a mix of English with a southern Chinese dialect. My family has gotten used to the way I talk but others haven’t. When I talk in Chinese in public, people usually can’t understand me and sometimes laugh at me and call me “white-washed”. The term is said in Chinese but I’ve grown familiar enough with it to understand the meaning. Usually I get angry and think, “Well. I was born in New York. I can’t help but become influenced by the environment!” But I do understand that I should be more familiar with the language. Honestly, I can’t even communicate with my father much because of the language barrier and I was fortunate enough that my mother knew English. When I had to work with citizenship test takers I couldn’t communicate with them well but they still relied on me. I also found it somewhat amusing that many of the Chinese elders thought I was a genius just because I spoke English fluently.