If I had to choose one image to describe my first semester at Baruch this would be it. Now, don’t get me wrong, overall I’ve enjoyed my experience at Baruch. Since I entered the school with no expectations I have been pleasantly surprised by all the amazing people I have met. I have also been learning a lot from some of my great professors. But, no matter how good I’m feeling, I always seem to end my day with this exact facial expression. It’s a mixture of feelings that include sadness, stress, and “I don’t give a fudge I’ll just become a stripper or get a sugar daddy.” The combination of the workload, studying, exams, college making me broke and the stresses of life in general takes a toll on a person. I feel like I have no time to relax because everyday there’s a new list of things that I have to do. But I guess that’s college for you. I’m going try my hardest to enjoy every second of it and not try to rush my time in Baruch like I did in high school. Although the workload stresses me out, my amazing new friends make things a bit easier to bear and I’d rather make great memories with them then stress myself over things I can’t control.

My life Is in complete shambles at the moment.  I think my teachers fail to realized that I’M COMPLETELY BOOKED.  No professor I cannot complete your 10 page paper, study for your midterm, prepare a speech, take 10 online quizzes, and read about 80 pages in the textbook all in the time span and with the great quality that you want. I’m not as fabulous as I look and I have to keep up with my shows. Love and Hip Hop waits for no one. I feel stuck between waiting to do great in college and actually wanting to live my life. If I died tomorrow I’d be so upset because I feel like I did nothing but school for the majority of my life. I want to travel around the world or rob a bank or something(snitches get stitches). I want to do something that makes me feel like I’m living and I’m not just alive. I guess I just need to find that balance between work and school. Does anyone else feel like college life really isn’t for them? I love learning new things but not under the amount of pressure I feel when I’m in college. I always envisioned myself graduating college and then going on the get my masters degree but now not so much. I definitely want to graduate with my bachelors but that’s all I know for the time being. Stripping never sounded better.

Basically how my face looks the majority of the week.

And my self portrait. You’re welcome.

My family speaks to who I am. I was never one to think that blood was thicker than water. Therefore, I have a strict definition of what family means to me.  In my humble opinion, family is not just someone related to you by blood. Your family are the few or many persons that love you unconditionally. They don’t only show up when the chips are stacked, but when the chips are against you as well. They love you even in the times where you are not very loveable. Fortunately, my immediate family and a few friends of mine fit this definition to a tee. They have all played a part in shaping me into the person I am today and into the person I am becoming.

Activism speaks to who I am. As of this year, I made a pact to myself to not say silent when wrongdoings occur. I had chosen ignorance by not educating myself about what’s going on in the world because it was mostly horrible and ignorance is bliss. Recently I went to a protest regarding Mike Brown and it changed my life. I always had this passion to help people, this passion to help the underdog but I never knew what I could do. Just being at that protest allowed me the privilege of hearing so many inspirational voices. It inspired me to one day work towards being the Martin Luther King or the Malcolm X of our generation.

Laughter speaks to who I am. I completely concur when it is said that “laughter is the best medicine.” I love to laugh and I love to make people laugh as well. It’s almost therapeutic to laugh until you crying so hard you can’t breathe and you need to run to the bathroom afterwards. I make it a point to try and make everyone I meet laugh, even if just for a little.

Education at home speaks to who I am. Education in school is great but I strongly believe that you’re taught the most useful things at home. Thankfully my parents have done a great job at educating me at home. They taught me things that are never taught in school like how to avoid conmen or how to recover after a death, etc.

Writing speaks to who I am. Writing is very therapeutic for me. I may not be the most creative or the most grammatically correct writer but just getting my thoughts down on paper helps me even in the slightest bit.

Reading speaks to who I am. I love to read all types of books especially poetry. Books allow me to enter a alternate universe and live life through another persons shoes. One of the easiest ways to open your mind is through reading.

Feminism speaks to who I am. I believe in the equality of the sexes economically, socially and politically. I try to do everything I can to uplift my fellow women and to educate people on the feminist movement.

Last but definitely not least, Slayonce speaks to who I am. I try not to idolize anyone but if there is one person that I look up to, besides my parents, it’s Mrs. Beyoncé Knowles-Carter.  She is not only hugely successful business wise, but she also gives back to the less fortunate and she is a feminist like myself.