Blog Post #2: Monologue

I think to my self all the time “Is school for me?” On more than one occasion, my answer to myself is no, and it’s not that I’m lazy, or the work load is too much, I simply just don’t care for school anymore, 12 years of it was annoying enough. However, I do it because it’s required to actually get somewhere in life. I don’t want to go through the rest of my life with a high school diploma being my biggest accomplishment. I don’t want a job where it seems as though I’m living off of every pay check. I want checks that meets my requirements and then there’s lots left over for savings and or personal pleasures, such as vacations. I’ve grown up with simply struggling, not much of a childhood either. My only motivation for remaining in school, are the benefits that I’ll reap in the end. I don’t want a job, I want a career. Would love to provide for my family one day the things that I was unable to receive. My life has been one big disappointment after another,  I want to be happy someday. Often times I realize I’m more concerned with other people’s problems rather than my own, I take on the weight of their responsibilities in the attempt to lend a helping hand. I know I do to much, yet I do it anyway. Maybe it’s because I want to be liked, or one of those people you can rely on. However, in situations such as this, it comes back to bite you on the butt, and I’ve been on the receiving end of that plenty of times. So am I wrong to not  want to be concerned about others? Am I wrong to want to worry about myself for a change? Sometimes it seems as though I am, and the ones I want to stop aiding makes me feel guilty for it. But it’s about time I get over it, handle what needs be done for school, and make a future for myself.