Dear immigrant parents,

Your children are referred to as second-generation immigrants, meaning that despite the fact that we were born here, we still have this label lingering over us. There’s no doubt that your children are eternally grateful for everything you’ve done in an attempt to provide a better life for them. To give up everything and settle in a new country where unfamiliarity awaits with societal judgment and language barriers is undeniably challenging. Being able to manage and overcome it all, in the hopes of you and your children achieving the American Dream is truly admirable. The desire you have to see them going to top tier universities, working white-collar jobs, and succeeding in life is understandable from your perspective. However, have you considered it from theirs? As the daughter of two immigrant parents who arrived in America as teenagers, I recognize that the difficulties faced by my parents at age 18 is quite the contrast from what I encountered at 18. Nevertheless, the validity of both your and our struggles remains unchanged. Thus, I ask, how do the difficulties faced by second generation immigrants affect their mental health with the addition of pressure exerted by their parents?

One of the main sources of pressure lies in the education system that touches upon socioeconomic disparities faced by immigrant families. Many children that attend public schools are lower or middle class, and many of us come from an immigrant family. The public education system is severely lacking in funding since the federal government believes the U.S. military requires 4 times more funding than the education of the American youth who, as a result, must contend with limited resources and opportunities. Of the $9.2 trillion budget for 2023, 3.2% of it goes towards “Education, Training, Employment, and Social Services” and only 85% of that 3.2% goes towards education (USAspending.gov). The struggle to gain admission to top-tier universities becomes not only a battle against fellow students but also against a system that inherently favors our counterparts who’ve gone to private schools with access to better educational resources. There are a select few of us who do end up being fortunate enough to accomplish the great feat of attending prestigious universities, but many of us do not and our worth should not be valued at what institution we attend. This often sets a precedent of comparison amongst second generation children by their parents. Other children of immigrants that were given the same amount of resources as the rest of us were able to get into top-tier universities must somehow mean that we didn’t try hard enough. In her personal narrative, author Karla Cornejo Villaviencio said something that struck me like knives, “We spend the rest of that life figuring out how much of our flesh will pay off the debt,” (Villavicencio, 2021) which vividly captures the emotional and psychological weight that many of us carry. This debt she speaks of is not financial, but a complex combination of familial expectations, societal pressures, and the desire to succeed against all odds. It reflects a shared sentiment among children of immigrants that their worth is often measured by their ability to overcome challenges and provide for their families. Villaviencio accomplished a lot as the child of undocumented immigrant, she graduated from Harvard, and has a multitude of achievements as a writer. Despite this, she still feels a great burden upon her to provide for her immigrant parents, and this burden is fueled by guilt which is common amongst us. No child should feel that they owe their parents anything other than their happiness. To the extent that many of us feel that we owe such a great portion of our lives comparable to our flesh, should raise a concern of the pressures we face. Our counterparts with U.S. native parents do not carry this difficult burden that translates into choosing careers with a stable income, resulting in being stuck at a dead-end white collar job instead of doing what excites and motivates them. There are career paths in arts and sciences that they’ve chosen not to pursue because they wouldn’t make enough to support both themselves and you, their parents. The pressures stemming from the education system and the subsequent challenges faced by the children of immigrant parents highlight the need for systemic changes, not only in education funding but also in societal perceptions and expectations. The goal should be to create an environment where individuals can pursue their passions and define success on their terms without feeling an overwhelming burden to sacrifice their mental and physical well-being in the process.

Immigrant children also grapple with the intricate challenge of biculturalism, which is the “double-consciousness feeling that they are simultaneously members of both cultures, yet do not fully belong to either one” (Stein, 2020, 4). Despite the advantages of biculturalism, such as exposure to diverse traditions, languages, and perspectives, it often gives rise to an identity crisis and psychological distress among second-generation immigrants (Stein, 2020, 9). My personal journey as a Chinese-American exemplifies the complexities of this struggle. Over time, I found myself gradually speaking less of my mother tongue, leading to a diminishing confidence in my linguistic abilities. This linguistic shift highlights a common occurrence where the demands of assimilation can erode the proficiency in one’s native language. This can create a gap in the connection to cultural roots and struggle in communicating to family members who are not proficient in English. I also have this internal battle of feeling too “Chinese” for my American peers yet too “American” for my Chinese peers. This acts as a stressor as the navigation of balancing yet embracing both cultures can be difficult to adjust to. Your children fear losing a crucial part of their identity to assimilation of American culture but are pressured into assimilation as a means to access greater opportunities and societal acceptance in America.

These pressures and difficulties children of immigrants face are often internalized which is why many immigrant parents don’t see what their children are struggling with. This is done out of fear that immigrant parents overlook mental issues and ignore the problem as they believe it’s something made up by their children to seek attention. This is not always the case, so I plead with you to believe your children when they’re opening up to you about the difficulties they’re facing. Communication is the most crucial part of any relationship, especially one with your children. I for one know how difficult it is to open up to such a vulnerable aspect of yourself, and to have shut down can cause your children to stop seeking help from you altogether. This can create a loss in connection to your children. To judge your child’s life and difficulties in America based on your life in your home country is called a ‘dual frame of reference,” a term used by Stanford’s sociology professor, Tomás R. Jiménez (Clark, 2019). This is used as a method to invalidate your children’s struggles in anyways by using your trauma and difficulties as a way of comparison. The struggles of your children in America are vastly different from what you’ve experienced in your home country making it a surface-leveled comparison. The systemic oppression in America is deeply complex and runs deep in the country’s history from slavery to discriminatory laws, all of which have caused the pain and suffering of minorities and people of color. Although second generation immigrants haven’t faced any physical barriers, there’s different kinds of barriers in education and the workforce they must face in the United States that children of U.S. natives don’t. There’s discrimination involved along with socioeconomic barriers that cause a multitude of mental health struggles.

Mental health is an issue amongst second generation immigrants that’s largely ignored for multiple reasons. There’s cultural stigma surrounding mental health in all different types of cultures, causing immigrant parents to disregard the issue. It may also be seen as a sign of weakness, causing shame for the family. This is out of fear of being judged in their tight-knit communities for having children that are out of the norm. The image of having the best and most successful children is all that you want to present to the world as a way of showing them you’ve achieved the American Dream, but your pride and dignity is causing severe damage to your children. It takes bravery and empathy to openly address mental health issues, and to get your children the help they deserve shows them you care more about them than what others think. To not address the issue, is to cause a positive feedback loop where their mental health further regresses, leading to irreversible consequences. In Clark’s piece, she includes many second generation immigrant’s narratives about their life and mental health but I’d like to highlight two. One of them, Sara, discusses how her mental health has been an issue since she was as young as ten years old and the other, Ella, talks about how her father believed therapy was a form of brainwashing (Clark, 2019). Children of all ages can suffer from emotional distress through their experience of society where they’re treated poorly, and to withhold a vital resource such as therapy, is to actively ignore your children from receiving the help they need. There’s also a large barrier in the United States to even receive the help second generation immigrants need with “23% of lawfully present immigrants and 45% of undocumented immigrants” not having health insurance (add source). Although this statistic doesn’t represent second-generation immigrants, it represents their parents and family members who don’t have access to health insurance, making it highly likely that they also don’t. This restricts access for them to receive any kind of therapy without having to pay out of pocket costs that are quite high. The cost of healthcare in the United States is a major problem compared to other developed nations like Canada and Great Britain that have low or free healthcare. There are more white people utilizing mental health resources with “Black and Hispanic Americans at half the rate of white Americans, and Asian Americans at one third the rate” (Clark, 2019). This could be due to many reasons like the cultural stigma surrounding it, the cost, and also the lack of non-white therapists as only 16% of the psychology workforce is made up of ethnic minorities (Clark, 2019). To express one’s trauma and other mental health issues that pertain to one’s identity in aspects such as race or if they’re a child of immigrants, requires empathy that can be gained more authentically through a mental health professional of similar background. This increases one’s comfort level and feelings of safety while expressing vulnerable issues. Make it a point to find your children a therapist that they can connect to and allow themselves to be vulnerable as it can help them in tremendous ways to learn and express themselves.