Why does my life matter? That’s a question I ask myself everyday, wondering if there might ever be an answer. I’m not sure I know exactly how to answer that question right now, but I do know I’ll be able to answer it in the near future. One day I want my life to matter because I’ll make an exceptional mom. It’s always the mother’s that are blessed with a daughter, but never a daughter that is blessed with a mom. A mother and a mom are two different things to me, I’ve always had a mother but I’ve never had a mom. I’ve had someone that would feed me because she had to, buy me clothes because she had to, but I’ve never had someone who I could eat dinner with, talk about life with, share my happiness and sadness with, I’ve never had a mom. I love my mom, I really do, but she wasn’t the person I needed or expected her to be, but that’s not her fault because life dealt her a bad deck of cards. They say blood is thicker than water, but sometimes I wonder if I would love the people I do if we weren’t related. If my family became strangers, I’m not sure I could say for sure that I would love them from the bottom of my heart. I want to be someone important to my future kids, not because we’re related by blood, but because they would choose to love me even if we didn’t share the same DNA. I want to create a home where my children feel safe talking to me, I want to build a place that they come home to because they want to and not because they have to. I want to work hard, and be there for my kids the way my mother was never able to, I want my life to matter to them.
Nov 09