After I got the draft of my paper last week, I started revising on the weekend. First, I looked at the comment that the professor gave me. I found that the process of revising was kind of tough. I thought of a more specific thesis. Then, I looked over the book and looked at the quotes that I highlighted in the book, so that I could find some quotes that can support my idea. I started thinking of the process of how can I revise the paper and really improve it. Also, when I was revising my paper, I asked myself why every time I presented an idea, so that I could explain more but not just gave an idea.
The first concern I have for this paper is that I don’t know if I have a strong thesis after I revised. I just wrote that students should take advantages of the technologies in the classroom as my thesis in my first draft. It was too broad and I tried to make it more specific in my second draft, but I am still not sure if the thesis now is better and specific enough.
Another concern I have about this paper is that the problem of analyzing a quote. I found that I usually just gave summary after the quote but not analysis. Therefore, I also paid attention to this problem when I was revising the paper. I tried to really unpack it and talked about it more instead of just repeating the idea of the quote.
I agree with you Ching. The process of revising will require some time, but it is possible to be able to edit the mistakes with help from Professor Kaufman or by your fellow peers. I am also in the state of coming up with a much stronger thesis statement and major argument for my paper.