Anastasia Rudchuk
Professor Ding
English 2150
22 Sep. 2023
Getting Through
My music teachers simply demanded perfection from me. Every. Single. One of them. My piano teacher assigned very difficult pieces for me to learn throughout the year, and my chamber music teacher was a strict one this time around. On top of that, school was putting immense pressure on me because my first regents exams loomed overhead. I sat in my room, looking at the red, autumn leaves, thinking about all of this work. Then, I tried to not think because it would overwhelm me even more. I decided to not stress about it too much, and thought that I would figure it out along the way. I turned out to be partially right.
My daily routine became so mundane. First school, then go to piano and chamber classes once a week, then do homework on the train, and then spend the rest of my time practicing for my music lessons. I could not seem to catch a break; ever. I do not remember having any time for myself; I was always running around doing things. The work piled up even more, even though I met school deadlines at the expense of my own sleep. What happened behind school doors is a whole other story, and that story was also a big stress factor during that year. But anyway, the work felt never ending. My teachers would load up the work, and I would submit it, and then they loaded up even more. My piano teacher was really understanding about everything, and she knew that when I had the time, I would adequately fix everything that she had instructed me to correct.
The chamber music teacher, however, was tough and persistent. She was on my case through and through, and never gave up. At one point, I just did not have any more time to learn her pieces, and she became very angry. I tried to explain to her that I would do everything she told me to, but she would not budge. I think it might have actually been one of the most stressful moments throughout that whole year. I felt like the teacher was deafened by her own anger towards me, so my words weren’t being received. Her grip on me became tighter and I became frustrated with her, and with everything else. I did not want to argue with her anymore, so I decided to leave it and just focus on my upcoming piano recital. This recital turned out to be the thing I needed in order for the clouds of fury to finally clear. She attended the recital too, and according to her, I played really well, and she even commended me on it. Her words felt like rays of sunshine had just been cast down on me through the clouds of stress. From that moment on, she started believing me that I would do everything she told me, but an idea dawned on me and I had to put it into action immediately: I needed to create a plan for myself. I could not let my teacher’s praise just be empty words that will never be fulfilled again. I had to map out all of my responsibilities so that I could make all my teachers proud of me, and have some peace of mind. I had to figure out a way to get all my work done, but also do it well. I remembered that my piano teacher always said that I can spend more time learning something new now, but I would save time in the future because I already learned it well the first time. So I decided to do just that: I would set aside time for myself to learn my pieces in little increments and repeatedly play those increments so that they will be driven to perfection.
At first, all of this repetition seemed like it would take a long time, but I was actually surprised at how smoothly everything went. I would sit at the piano, playing for 2 hours a day as usual, but I was committing everything to memory much more quickly. I would sit down and try to play the same excerpt the next day, 3 days after that, a week after, and I still knew it as well as I did the first time. My piano teacher was right, I did end up saving time for myself in the long run. My method proved to be true because my chamber music teacher was finally happy. At last she was satisfied and our group was the only one that got selected to play at the music school’s open house, and have our interviews taken on stage by the director. At the very end of the school year, my chamber music teacher asked my group to perform at her recital for her private students, to show what hard work can achieve and sound like. Hearing her words of praise felt so rewarding and relieving. Apart from her class, I also used my technique for my private piano lessons and school work. It was also proven successful there. I do not think I have ever felt a greater sense of accomplishment than I did this year. I learned an important lesson, and it was one that I could use to ensure that something like the stress of this year could be avoided in the future.