I want you to read a collection of sentences I gathered from a book called Brothers and Keepers by John Wideman. The book is a memoir about Wideman’s relationship to his brother. Wideman and his brother are both Black but lived very different lives, growing up in different places. Wideman spends the memoir talking with his brother, who is in prison, to get closer to him but it also is a way to think about his family history and larger societal issues of race and class in the U.S.
Wideman’s style uses a lot of different punctuation in interesting ways. So, I thought it might be good practice for you to read through some of his sentences and to think about which uses of punctuation stand out to you.
- The previous summer, 1980, a prisoner, Leon Patterson, had been asphyxiated in his cell.
- People in Homewood often ask: You said that to say what?
- Six years later my brother was in prison, and when he began the story of his troubles with Garth’s death, a circle completed itself; Robby was talking to me, but I was still on the outside, looking in.
- The hardest habit to break, since it was the habit of a lifetime, would be listening to myself listen to him. That habit would destroy any chance of seeing my brother on his terms; and seeing him in his terms, learning his terms, seemed the whole point of learning his story.
- Because Homewood was self-contained and possessed such a strong personality, because its people depended less on outsiders than they did on each other for so many of their most basic satisfactions, they didn’t notice the net settling over their community until it was already firmly in place. Even though the strands of the net–racial discrimination, economic exploitation, white hate and fear–had existed time out of mind, what people didn’t notice or chose not to notice was that the net was being drawn tighter, that ruthless people outside the community had the power to choke the life out of Homewood, and as soon as it served their interests would do just that.
- The borrowed pen and paper (I was not permitted into the lounge with my own) were necessary props. I couldn’t rely on memory to get my brother’s story down and the keepers had refused my request to use a tape recorder, so there I was.
After reading through these sentences above, comment below on 2 different uses of punctuation and how it had a rhetorical effect. Think to the last page where we talked about different punctuation is giving different lengths of time for pausing. Why would certain lengths and types of pauses have a rhetorical effect? Why use punctuation in the way it was used, why not just use a bunch of simple sentences that end in periods? Why not a comma rather than a colon? Etc. Try to think that through by throwing out some ideas as you read and react to the above sentences.
To comment, mention:
- the sentence by its number in the list
- the type of punctuation for both usages
- what you thought was rhetorically significant about that use of punctuation for both usages
After commenting below, click on the button below to continue.
1. (Sentence 1) The previous summer, 1980, a prisoner, Leon Patterson, had been asphyxiated in his cell.
2. , & .
3. The commas help introduce new information (in a list-like form); the period puts emphasis on the sentence and its structure, considering how it was written that the individual was asphyxiated.
1. The previous summer, 1980, a prisoner, Leon Patterson, had been asphyxiated in his cell.
I thought that the multiple commas used in that sentenced brings a sense of suspense and solemnity. It is almost like an introduction to a movie about a historical event. It immediately allows the audience to get into the sober atmosphere, and prepare for something important to happen.
6. The borrowed pen and paper (I was not permitted into the lounge with my own) were necessary props. I couldn’t rely on memory to get my brother’s story down and the keepers had refused my request to use a tape recorder, so there I was.
I thought that the parentheses were used appropriately. The note inside the parentheses seems like an unimportant one, but it plays a role in portraying the situation. I think using any other punctuation mark will increase the significance of the text, which I don’t think the author wants. In my view, the author wants to keep the words in the parentheses low-key, but still deliver the effect of creating a clear image for readers.
1.The previous summer, 1980, a prisoner, Leon Patterson, had been asphyxiated in his cell.
The commas add depth to the sentence and instead of it being a quick sentence about how a the death of Leon Patterson.
5. Because Homewood was self-contained and possessed such a strong personality, because its people depended less on outsiders than they did on each other for so many of their most basic satisfactions, they didn’t notice the net settling over their community until it was already firmly in place. Even though the strands of the net–racial discrimination, economic exploitation, white hate and fear–had existed time out of mind, what people didn’t notice or chose not to notice was that the net was being drawn tighter, that ruthless people outside the community had the power to choke the life out of Homewood, and as soon as it served their interests would do just that.
The paragraph uses the commas in a manner to add a form of suspense to the information being told. It is able to convey the issues in a great way for us as the reader to better understand the issue. The use of the em-dash is able to provide a pause and go into more detail.
3. Six years later my brother was in prison, and when he began the story of his troubles with Garth’s death, a circle completed itself; Robby was talking to me, but I was still on the outside, looking in.
I don’t think a semicolon was necessary but it helps the reader see that the two (would be) sentences are directly related.
4. The hardest habit to break, since it was the habit of a lifetime, would be listening to myself listen to him. That habit would destroy any chance of seeing my brother on his terms; and seeing him in his terms, learning his terms, seemed the whole point of learning his story.
That second sentence is interesting because of the use of “terms”. I’m interpreting it as breaking up the different definitions of that word.
2. People in Homewood often ask: You said that to say what?
– I think this was the perfect use of a colon. It explained what other people had said. Another option would have been to use a comma and add quotation marks, but both get the point accross.
6. The borrowed pen and paper (I was not permitted into the lounge with my own) were necessary props. I couldn’t rely on memory to get my brother’s story down and the keepers had refused my request to use a tape recorder, so there I was.
– The parenthesis in the first sentece work well because it provide extra information that isn’t completely neccessary but also adds to the story. Because parenthesis were used, the reader can distinguish a small detail form a bigger point.
1.The previous summer, 1980, a prisoner, Leon Patterson, had been asphyxiated in his cell.
This first sentence uses commas to introduce new information into the sentence like how it was a prisoner named Leon Patterson.
2. People in Homewood often ask: You said that to say what?
This sentence uses a colon to add drama to the question it’s presenting.
1. People in Homewood often ask: You said that to say what?
it’s interesting how instead of using quotation marks they were able to use colon to interpret what people say.
2. The borrowed pen and paper (I was not permitted into the lounge with my own) were necessary props. I couldn’t rely on memory to get my brother’s story down and the keepers had refused my request to use a tape recorder, so there I was.
The use of parenthesis gives more context information of the situation for the reader to gain better understanding on the story and an improved image.
2. People in Homewood often ask: You said that to say what?
The colon and the question mark
The colon was nicely used here as a pause into a new idea. It separates the what they are saying and what others are saying. The question mark is necessary there because something is being asked.
1. Sentence 2 – People in Homewood often ask: You said that to say what?
2. :
3. The colon changes the tone of the sentence. Almost a change in the voice of the speaker. The part before the colon is the authors voice, the part after is the voice of the people of Homewood.
Sentence 4: used commas, period, semicolon
I think that the use of these punctuations allows the writer to rephrase what he was saying multiple times within the same two sentences
Sentence 2: used colon
The use of the colon differentiates between two voices. I say the part before the colon and after in two different ways
Sentence 2. People in Homewood often ask: You said that to say what?
The author uses a colon here to show that what followed his earlier statement was supposed to offer further insight into what he was talking about. The colon additionally changes the tone of the statement to ensure that there is emphasis on the question being asked.