Sentence coherence can best be thought of as ways in which you can position your sentences in ways where a reader can quickly understand why one sentence follows another. One of the best ways to think about coherence is the given/new principle in writing.
Generally speaking, the opening of a sentence (‘given’) contains information that the reader already knows and the ending of a sentence (‘new’) contains new information. The ‘given’ information is based on one of two sources:
- Something that was referred to in the previous sentence or earlier in the passage.
- Something that is common knowledge or transition words that signal reference (explicit or implicit—as in, inserting common knowledge at beginning that wasn’t mentioned yet, having a sentence of only new information because the new information implies the old/common knowledge, or a transition marker that refers back)
Here are some examples from chapter 4 of the professional writing textbook Business Writing is for Everyone:
It is easy to let your sentences become cluttered with words that do not add value to your message. Improve cluttered sentences [GIVEN] by eliminating repetitive ideas, removing repeated words, and editing to eliminate unnecessary words [NEW].
You should be especially careful when writing about groups of people in a way that might reinforce stereotypes. For example, [GIVEN; offers inference that example will illustrate point in last sentence] implied in his book Elements of Indigenous Style, Gregory Younging discusses how subtle bias can have a big impact when non-Indigenous people write about First Nations, Metis and Inuit people [NEW].
If you are a writer that frequently gets comments on papers that your writing is “clunky” or hard to follow, this can be one fairly easy method to improve the readability for your reading.
Comment below with the following:
- Paste two consecutive sentences from a previous piece of your writing that you feel is really cohesive. Insert “given” and “new” like I do above in the examples I provided.
- Explain what you think really helps with the cohesion and comment a little bit about whether it could be improved or if you have noticed general areas you want to work on at all in terms of readability in your writing.
After commenting, click the button below to continue.
The usage of periods and commas enables these two sentences to flow nicely. However, I feel like I could have added more to explain my thought processes on why I do not feel “comfortable showing off” my identity.
“Aside from the arts of calligraphy, I am also extremely appreciative of the wide implementation of references in modern Chinese culture. [GIVEN] Chinese is a language that is thousands of years old, with texts from ancient periods still observed and reflected in universities today. [NEW]”
I feel that my transition words helped my sentences flow. The first sentence catches the end of the previous paragraph, then introduced the topic of the paragraph. Then, naturally, I provide new information.
One improvement that I think I can make use of is finding more transition words. I’ve noticed that I used “aside” quite a few times in my essay.
f a piece of writing is not fully developed, it is severely lacking in the information that every reader is looking for and will likely keep them focused on the work without quickly losing interest. (Given) Development in writing can be defined as when the piece of work has been properly balanced and reads clearly in an informative way. (New)
I think I was able to add more detail and emphasize the claim made in the first sentence.
“In such a year full of despair, some people yearn for a simpler time. Before the
internet [GIVEN: implied by the previous sentence], most people read books and consumed media through magazines and newspapers. [NEW]”
Looking back on my narrative, I think it felt very natural to write as if I was speaking, but it might not be such a great read. To me, it reads more like a textbook than a story. Maybe other people have a different impression but I don’t feel satisfied.
While this was a huge step for me, my mom still didn’t know if my brain functioned like everyone else’s; at that point, I could only form smaller, more simple phrases. Because of this, (GIVEN) my mom made a very conscious effort to talk to me all the time. (NEW)
This was one of my favorite parts in my narrative. It presented an issue and then said because of that issue, my mom did this… (solution). The way I phrased the second sentence made these two sentences a simple progression of problem then solution.
For me, growing up with a Hebrew name in America
[Given] left me feeling different and out of place.[New]
I think this helped with the flow of my writing because I was connecting the previous paragraphs with this new one that is about the difficulty my name brought me.
Being that I was still an immature kid, I thought I would never get out of this weird funk I found myself in. (GIVEN) Fortunately, I came to realize that things do get better and time will fix anything. (NEW)
Here, I believe the transition was smooth. In the first sentence, I state my conflict I found myself in. In the following sentence, I express how I resolved my conflict.
I held two separate linguistic identities that played a significant role in the formulation of my identity. (Given) I was Pakistani-American. (New)
The first sentence is general, whereas the second is specific.
Many Americans didn’t like this Chinese “takeover” and it led to exclusionary laws and mockery of Chinese people. [GIVEN; knowledge of the history] Because of this, their personality and work ethic was stereotyped as weird and overly ambitious and the media played a part in displaying this [NEW; new idea based off of history].
I honestly think this is really good. It shows a good example of cause and effects.
Culture can be a very broad term for most people because it entails many factors ranging from food to music and even language. Of these factors [GIVEN], language may perhaps be the most important representation of culture because it enables individuals within a given cultural grouping to communicate and understand one another [NEW].
In this case, the word “language” is the given because it was illustrated previously and its role in enabling communication and understanding is the new information. The use of this structure helps in making the ideas to flow logically so that the audience has an easy time understanding the subject matter.
In the act of revision, it is important for the writer to keep an open mind to criticism, be this their own or from other individuals (family, peers, friends, etc)[Given]. When rewriting their work, the author must select critic commentaries and thoughts, filtering the constructive content that they find the most useful for their writing piece[New].
I thinks this part of my text had a good development and connection to the rest of information I gave and with the central idea.