Although both of my parents have obtained college degrees and have always done well in school, their attitude towards my education has always been very “hands-off”. I have always received good grades and no one ever had to reprimand me to do my homework. My dad used to always tell me, “You’re not going to school for anyone but yourself. If you don’t want to go to school, you can always find a minimum wage job.” He knew that threats of punishment and yelling would only make me want to rebel, and in the end hurt my future. I feel that a lot of parents push their kids too hard; I have always believed that your personality and the kind of person you are has just as much if not more worth than your grades.
My father was the first in his family to go to college, while both of my mothers’ parents were college-educated. They came from two different social classes in Poland, but they both took their education very seriously. My mother attained a degree in nursing and loves what she does; my father’s degree in mechanical engineering, however, did not help him in finding a job in New York. He ended up becoming a driver and I can tell he wants me to have a better life. I think the reason he has never been as hard on me regarding education is because I have seen the hardships my parents faced. I have worked many minimum wage jobs and since I graduated high school I have lived on my own and seen how hard it is to make a living wage.
Because I have come to America when I was nine, my parents were never hard on me when it came to English. It was not my native language, and they had no idea what it was like to sit in a classroom completely clueless searching for every other word the teacher said in a Polish-English dictionary. Regardless, I have always tried my best in every subject; I know that if I can start my education from scratch and learn a whole new language I can already do more than most people.
My dad had the same philosophy as yours… College is for you more than it is for other people, and ultimately the decision to go or not to go is in your hands. I would even say that college is more of a privilege than it is a right. No one makes you go to college, and if one does decide to go, they should be responsible about it (i.e. try to get good grades and pay off tuition etc).
I personally appreciate your dad’s lenient view of education. If done correctly, this parental mentality could go a long way in motivating your kids to take their education seriously. Parents should drill the idea that their kids are not getting educated for their parents, but for themselves. It is vital for kids to understand that education will be an important factor in how successful they will become in their not so distant futures.